This is terrible

Money is terrible. I wish we didn't need it, but we do. I just checked the balance of our checking account, which we use for bills, food, etc. I realize now that we really shouldn't have bought all of that food. Something in the back of my head told me that I wasn't going to eat all of it!! It's all negative and I don't have anything that I can sell or pawn to make up the difference. I wrote a check yesterday (when the balance was positive for my new car expiration tags since they didn't accept a debit/credit card. The transaction for the food we purchased just went through. I was put in charge of the finances and I'm doing a shitty job of it because I can't keep track of all of it!! I hav an orthodontist appointment this evening for my retainer that I have to go to. I've put it off for nearly two months now. I only owe them one more payment of like $140 and that's it. I just hope they can take a post dated check since that's the best thing we'll be able to do. I'm glad I took care of my rent when I had the chance. If a checking account goes negative, the credit union takes money from the savings account to compensate. I would talk to my mother about it but she'll just chew me a new asshole about being smart with my money. I'd talk to my dad and step-mom, but they're paying for my brother's orthodontics. They have helped us out once before but I would hate to do it again. His mother is strapped as well and, even though she sees me as her own daughter, I can't ask her for that. Talking to his dad about it won't do anything either. My sister is underway for the week (I can only assume anyway; I didn't see her ship on the pier this morning) and I won't ask her [new] fiance either. We can't be in debt like this. We won't get a divorce about fighting over money and bills, like some do. Hell no, we're stronger than that. His next paycheck is a little bigger; he has his clothing allowance on there. I won't be able to check it for another few days though. Four more days until the W-2's are out. Then I'm immediately filing. My own clothing allowance shows up first paycheck in March. FUCK!!!!!