First Love.. get the thoughts away, far away from me

I had another dream again. Another dream about the first love. We were together and happy, a family.

I don't know why though. It's really ... I can't even think of the right word; it's getting to me that much.

He was the same as I remember him, but his face is a little rounder. The feelings, the connection between us was still there and strong.

It upsets me that I still have these unconcious thoughts, these dreams. I have no control over them. I know there are ways to "control" what you dream, but it's so hard Whatever precautions there are, I'd forget to do them.

Akri, I love you

Comments

  1. AnonymousTuesday, August 07, 2007 3:04:00 AM

    I know you are going to be there waiting on the pier when I get home, ready to welcome me back with open arms. I love you too Simi!!!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Conversations

Image
This is all from a conversation I've had with someone I mentioned in this blog awhile ago.  It seems surreal to me that we can talk so freely about the stuff we couldn't talk about ten years ago.  Then again, I was letting the conversation happen, so what does that say about me?  Why am I taking these deep breaths?  Why is my heart beating faster? I'm going to blame the coffee and an empty stomach.  Or maybe the too tight jeans that I shouldn't have worn.  That makes much more sense and I like that explanation much better.  There's nothing deep seeded here.  Nothing.  Why is it that he's always the one to message me first?  I still don't know how to interpret that. I should have started copying/pasting much earlier in the conversation.  The first part sounds bad.  We were talking about a time about 11 years ago when I'd hopped a Greyhound to see him in college for a week. I'm wondering if he was patronizing me (or just be...
Read more

10 Statements

Instructions: Write 10 statements, intended to different people.never tell which one is to who things you've always wanted to tell people. (*one or two may not even be on myspace. -Tam) 1. There are times when I love you, but there are times when your actions speak louder than your words and you upset me. I'm afraid to tell you to your face because I'm afraid it will screw with our friendship. 2. It was interesting having my own "puppy dog" for a couple of years. I got a little worried when special permission was given to go to my school. This was the catalyst for the drift in our friendship, which was rocky, at best, in high school. I'm sorry for treating you the way I did. 3. I forgive too easily, sometimes. My folks were mad for a long time; I think they still are. But I forgive you. I forgive you because you helped so many times the last few years when it was really needed. I appreciate that. 4. I still love you, but no longer in love with you. I'm hap...
Read more

I Miss It... maybe a symptom?

I know that I'm in no way ready for another one, as Bella is a big enough handfull, but I miss being pregnant. It was such a wonderful time in my life. I looked great, felt great (most of the time, anyway). I miss watching my belly grow with a baby in it. I miss feeling said baby moving around inside. There are at least five women I know of who are pregnant, and I think it's safe to say I'm kind of envious. I know those who read this may think, "Are you sure you don't want another one really soon?" The answer is yes. I don't want another baby until Bella can use the potty all by herself; I don't want two in diapers, if I can help it. I say "symptom" in the title, because, well, I'm not feeling myself. I'm sure I've posted about it somewhere. I'll copy and paste. Just needing a little help here deciphering some symptoms.. gradually building up over the last few weeks. You know how everyone has their mopey days and days of just ...
Read more