New Morning, A New Day

Last night after getting home from work, I found out we were going to opening night of the county fair.  We're still flat broke, but, our friends, Derek and Jessica, had extra tickets and invited us to go along.  We had a pretty good time.  My crowd anxiety was in check, for the most part. Derek got some tokens for the rides (Bella kept asking to go on the ferris wheel and carousel), but after we got onto the carousel, she changed her mind, under the impression that it would go "too fast" for her.  It was one of the slowest rides.  She's had no problem in the past riding "fast" rides.  In fact, we've had to practically fight her to get off of the rides. We walked around a lot.  They bought lemonades in big plastic cups with lids and straws.  Jessica said that every time she comes to the fair, she HAS to get one of the lemonades.  For $5 a piece, I hope it's good!  They bought us one each (Bella shared with us) and I found out this ...

I really hope there's a dream tonight to make up for this one. I had a dream last night about my sister.  We were hanging out, being normal.  The scene changed to the two of us laying in a claw foot bath tub, immersed in some gross goop.  We were on our sides and she was in front of me.  I remember her turning around and asking if she could have some room. Next thing I know, we're out of the tub and clean, and she gets propositioned by a seedy character.  She turns to me and says something like, "I need to be able to provide for our family," shoos me away and follows the Seedy Character. I go inside a building where she is and I try to talk to my friends about what just happened.  I hear her screaming on the other side of the wall and run outside.  I see her on her back getting sexually assaulted by Seedy Character, with her hand on her naked crotch.  Disturbing to say the least! I get all protective of her and race to her rescue. ...

Last night I went to bed shortly after Bella went to bed.  I was out cold before Patrick got home from work last night.. just after 8:30pm.  I had a dream about Shemar Moore.  If you watch Criminal Minds, you know who I'm talking about. I remember he was a real estate agent with Century 21 and was trying to sell houses (but I never saw him sell houses).  I would go and talk to him and help him feel better about things.  But, it wasn't just selling houses.  He was feeling really down and I hated that.  I spent a lot of the dream helping him feel better about himself.  I think we were living together.  I remember we were talking to each other in bed one night and he attacked me.  We did the nasty.  Thing is, I didn't feel anything down there, but I know business was getting done.  All I felt was his body and his kisses; but nothing down there .  It was weird. Anyway, I remember having a wonderful dream about Shemar Mo...

These are from the posts I made about my anxieties.  It may seem broken up, but that's because I'm not sharing what my friends said.  They may not want to be on my blog.  I'm respecting their privacy.  It started with a question. I posted a question the other day asking about Encouraging Independence or Being Lazy.  I've taken it down. One person thought that I was just being lazy.  Not so.  Sometimes I fall asleep on the couch after Bella gets me up, with her watching tv in the same room.  I mentioned that I don't sleep well at night, and wake up tired, usually getting only five hours of sleep a night.  She thought that cps should be called and they should look into the situation.  WOW.  Really? I mentioned an anxiety about taking her places to play outside, like a park or something.  I have a huge anxiety about her walking off with a stranger if I blink my eyes just once.  This woman thought that I was makin...

The last few times I posted, it was about Silverchair songs and an ex-boyfriend.  Here's what's happened in the last two weeks. As I try some nights to get to bed at a decent time (read:  before 2 am), I tend to get attacked by my husband.  This is good and dandy, but when I say, "I'm going to lay down to try and get some sleep," one would think, Okay, she doesn't want any nookie tonight.  What I don't like is when I'm obviously trying to get to sleep (without saying the aforementioned statement) is when he tries to play with me.  Seriously?  I'm trying to get to sleep!  I know sex and somewhat loud tv help him sleep; both of them have the opposite effect on me.  It keeps me up.  What sucks more is that I'm the one who gets up with Bella most mornings (of the two of us).  Me.  Sometimes when I come out to the living room with her, I turn on her 'toons, make sure she has cereal or oatmeal on the table, and then get comfortable on t...