This is all from a conversation I've had with someone I mentioned in this blog awhile ago. It seems surreal to me that we can talk so freely about the stuff we couldn't talk about ten years ago. Then again, I was letting the conversation happen, so what does that say about me? Why am I taking these deep breaths? Why is my heart beating faster? I'm going to blame the coffee and an empty stomach. Or maybe the too tight jeans that I shouldn't have worn. That makes much more sense and I like that explanation much better. There's nothing deep seeded here. Nothing. Why is it that he's always the one to message me first? I still don't know how to interpret that. I should have started copying/pasting much earlier in the conversation. The first part sounds bad. We were talking about a time about 11 years ago when I'd hopped a Greyhound to see him in college for a week. I'm wondering if he was patronizing me (or just be...
I know that I'm in no way ready for another one, as Bella is a big enough handfull, but I miss being pregnant. It was such a wonderful time in my life. I looked great, felt great (most of the time, anyway). I miss watching my belly grow with a baby in it. I miss feeling said baby moving around inside. There are at least five women I know of who are pregnant, and I think it's safe to say I'm kind of envious. I know those who read this may think, "Are you sure you don't want another one really soon?" The answer is yes. I don't want another baby until Bella can use the potty all by herself; I don't want two in diapers, if I can help it. I say "symptom" in the title, because, well, I'm not feeling myself. I'm sure I've posted about it somewhere. I'll copy and paste. Just needing a little help here deciphering some symptoms.. gradually building up over the last few weeks. You know how everyone has their mopey days and days of just ...
I'm feeling strange this time of year. I wouldn't say we're broke, but our holidays seem bleak this year. I said that before, somewhere, and I still think it. If I still had a job, it wouldn't be as bad. It'll be an okay year for Bella and her gifts. My mom gave her a bunch of books (they look kind of cheesy) that remind me of tourist stops. The previous post I made was originally placed in one of my mom groups. Someone took it upon themselves to help. I was very touched by this thought. I was informed by an anonymous message that something from Amazon would be arriving for Bella this week. This message choked me up a little bit. Tonight, we found the Amazon parcel on our porch. Inside was an awesome Play-Doh set and four 12-piece wooden puzzles. I made tonight gift wrapping night and was able to wrap them with everything else. When I started wrapping them, I almost started crying. Hell, I'm close to cryin...
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