Death... moving on?

I didn't have this blog then, so those who do read this blog may have no idea.

In June 2004, my grandmother (favorite mind you) passed away. It hit hard and I still want to cry about it every now and again (particularly, that month). We really didn't expect my grandfather to live much longer after her passing, but he has. As I said to my mother this morning, "He's a stubborn, ol' coot." And he is. He is resiliant.

He's also in the hospital for his liver (I think; it may have been kidneys.. I think it's the kidneys). No idea how serious it is. My step-Mom sent an email to my Mom, in response to my mother's daily meditation emails, letting her know what's going on.

I don't know what to do. If he leaves us, I have no way to get back there. I want to bring Patrick and Belladonna with me. I want to see my grandmother again. The last time I really thought about her was April 2005; when Patrick and I got married. We received a card in the mail from Vicky (one of my dad's sisters) and in it she mentioned that "she" was watching over us on the day. I cried. I could read it again for several months.

I had no idea her death still affects me to this day. I may be crying throughout the day because of the pain I remember feeling. I'd say just send me home for the day, but I need the money for today's work.

If we were to hop on a plane mid-week of November 19, for instance, and stayed until Sunday, plus hotel, it would be $369/person, which isn't bad at all. But, I'm almost willing to bet my dad would have us staying at their house.

I really hope he hangs on a bit longer. I don't want to lose him so soon (it seems) after she passed away.