Is It Really A Wonder?

A friend of mine left a comment on a recent blog saying that it's no wonder I haven't broken down yet. She said that I've been through a lot lately. This could be true (I'm not discrediting her) but I see it as me just living my life, dealing and handling what's been given to me.

I know that the people who count have the faith in me that I need. When I was in boot camp, I was being strong for all those girls who were away from their families for the first time. They'd cry and sob and cry some more, everyday wondering if they'd made the right choice. Every time, I was there, helping them through it. I'd been away from my family before (five months after graduation) and was just fine then. I didn't cry during those five months. I suppose, while in boot camp, when I thought it was safe, I broke down a bit and cried; I missed my mother and my friends. I was actually really fucking disappointed that they didn't write as often as they said they would. I even sent them STAMPS to write me! One of the girls sleeping near me, heard. She asked if I was okay; I think I said yes.

The last several years of my life are here on my blog. Is there anything you can see to explain all that I've been through? Maybe I have a shield over my eyes, because I can't see anything. There's a journal I had before this one, if anyone wants to peruse it, just to see..

www.sybil.deadjournal.com

Yup, that's me. Thoughts?

Comments

  1. DeeSaturday, November 24, 2007 8:45:00 PM

    I didn't mean that you have been through a lot that we don't all go through, per say. Not that there have been tons of overwhelming tragedies or that you have had to overcome insane obstacles.

    I meant it more from the perspective of where you started. From where you where and what you were doing when we first became friends- all the way to what you have accomplished now. You have gone through a lot (good and bad) to get to your life now and the person you have become. (You were always beautiful, but it really shines now)

    I respect women who serve their country and women who are married to men who serve their country. You sacrificed more than you realize when he was on deployment and I admire you for going through part of your pregnancy alone (and again after Bella was born)- because ultimately I do not have to sacrifice in that way because he volunteers.

    I think I also worded the "breaking down" part wrong. I don't mean that you should ever completely break down, I just mean that we all go through ups and downs in our feelings and life. You have stayed so strong the times that he has been deployed and even though you vent, I do not hear you complain. I am just amazed that you have stayed so strong in all of the times where I would not have held it together.

    I think all I was trying to say was you are a strong woman and I admire that about you. And coming from where you were when you left to where you are now, takes a lot of work.

    You met me when I was very young- barely old enough to drive, and wasn't always the best friend I could be to those around me. But you always watched out for me and treated me like a little sister, so I continue to try and show you now that I'm older (and have learned to appreciate all that I am blessed with) how much I appreciate the people in my life I truly care about.

    ReplyDelete
  2. DeeSaturday, November 24, 2007 9:04:00 PM

    Ps. I got him an Mp3 player (Microsoft Zune, cause I'm now anti-ipod) on Buy.com and a new wedding band off of a great seller on Ebay :)

    ReplyDelete

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