He has a mom and it's not me
Our only friend here came over on Saturday night to hang out. His wife was in San Antonio for the weekend and he was bored at home.
We started talking about my husband's ex-wife and their son. Our friend (hopefully jokingly) said something to the effect of busting her up. I told him that a son need his mother, and Patrick agreed. Derek said, "He does; you!" Patrick said, "And at least you talk to him."
Apparently, all his ex-wife really does is hang out with her new man (she still has yet to tell Patrick that they're an item; this was an agreement they both came to when they divorced, to let the other one know when and who they were dating so they'd both know who was going to be in their son's life) and play on the computer.
I wasn't sure what to think of that. I'm Tam, his bonus mom. He's a great kid and I do miss him being around. when we lived in San Diego, we had him every other weekend. If we wanted to see him, all we had to do was take a two-and-a-half hour drive and we were there. It's been nearly two years since we last saw him.
Derek mentioned attempting to get full custody. Pat's ex-wife isn't making nearly as much money as she was hoping for and her parents lost their house (she was living with them). I guess they're living with her new man. She wants her child support, and I understand that, but we can't give her what we don't have. I say "we" because that's how things work when you marry someone going through a divorce; their problems/issues/etc. become yours and you need to be loving and supportive of your other half.
She said something to Pat one of the last times they spoke saying that she can't afford a place for them to live (or something similar to that); that's when Derek mentioned filing for full custody. WE can provide a roof over his head, clothes on his body, and food in his belly. From what we gather, she can't do that on her own. With our combined income, we can. If it were solely dependent on Pat's weekly paycheck, it wouldn't happen. Barely getting minimum wage and part time doesn't go far with bills. We were spending, at most, $50 on groceries to last us a week. With my job (paying two dollars less than double his wages), we can afford to spend $100 on groceries every week and get the bills paid (electric, cable, phone, internet).
I think we could make a pretty good life for him here. He'd have to share a room with his sister right now, but they miss each other so much that, at this point, I don't think he would mind much. It's when he goes through puberty (he's 11 right now) that he'll want that room to himself, lol.
I don't want him calling me "mom." He has a mom. To him, I'm Tam. Just Tam. I don't think he'll ever start calling me "mom" and I'm okay with that.
In a couple of years, he'll be able to make up his which parent he wants to live with. Ever since Pat and I got together, we hoped beyond hope that he'd choose us. We would love for him to live with us full time. We're keeping our fingers crossed. By the time he's able to choose, we'll be in a house and we'll have room for him. For this reason, I want to look for a house that has four bedrooms, instead of the standard three that we've been looking at. When Bella's in preschool, Mom will be able to look for work and will hopefully find something. Once that happens, I'm sure we'd be able to afford payments twice what we're paying now on an actual house and not the trailer we're living in now.
Not sure where I'm going with this entry right now. Add another entry later maybe?
We started talking about my husband's ex-wife and their son. Our friend (hopefully jokingly) said something to the effect of busting her up. I told him that a son need his mother, and Patrick agreed. Derek said, "He does; you!" Patrick said, "And at least you talk to him."
Apparently, all his ex-wife really does is hang out with her new man (she still has yet to tell Patrick that they're an item; this was an agreement they both came to when they divorced, to let the other one know when and who they were dating so they'd both know who was going to be in their son's life) and play on the computer.
I wasn't sure what to think of that. I'm Tam, his bonus mom. He's a great kid and I do miss him being around. when we lived in San Diego, we had him every other weekend. If we wanted to see him, all we had to do was take a two-and-a-half hour drive and we were there. It's been nearly two years since we last saw him.
Derek mentioned attempting to get full custody. Pat's ex-wife isn't making nearly as much money as she was hoping for and her parents lost their house (she was living with them). I guess they're living with her new man. She wants her child support, and I understand that, but we can't give her what we don't have. I say "we" because that's how things work when you marry someone going through a divorce; their problems/issues/etc. become yours and you need to be loving and supportive of your other half.
She said something to Pat one of the last times they spoke saying that she can't afford a place for them to live (or something similar to that); that's when Derek mentioned filing for full custody. WE can provide a roof over his head, clothes on his body, and food in his belly. From what we gather, she can't do that on her own. With our combined income, we can. If it were solely dependent on Pat's weekly paycheck, it wouldn't happen. Barely getting minimum wage and part time doesn't go far with bills. We were spending, at most, $50 on groceries to last us a week. With my job (paying two dollars less than double his wages), we can afford to spend $100 on groceries every week and get the bills paid (electric, cable, phone, internet).
I think we could make a pretty good life for him here. He'd have to share a room with his sister right now, but they miss each other so much that, at this point, I don't think he would mind much. It's when he goes through puberty (he's 11 right now) that he'll want that room to himself, lol.
I don't want him calling me "mom." He has a mom. To him, I'm Tam. Just Tam. I don't think he'll ever start calling me "mom" and I'm okay with that.
In a couple of years, he'll be able to make up his which parent he wants to live with. Ever since Pat and I got together, we hoped beyond hope that he'd choose us. We would love for him to live with us full time. We're keeping our fingers crossed. By the time he's able to choose, we'll be in a house and we'll have room for him. For this reason, I want to look for a house that has four bedrooms, instead of the standard three that we've been looking at. When Bella's in preschool, Mom will be able to look for work and will hopefully find something. Once that happens, I'm sure we'd be able to afford payments twice what we're paying now on an actual house and not the trailer we're living in now.
Not sure where I'm going with this entry right now. Add another entry later maybe?
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