Wednesday, September 06, 2017

Tidal Wave of Emotions

I was doing just fine this morning.  It was business as usual.  I was releasing some photo orders this morning when, out of nowhere, a tidal wave of emotions hit me. 

I have no idea where it came from.  The sea was calm, nothing dusturbing it.  The next thing I know, I want to break down and cry.  I'm still kind of feeling that way as I type this.

Chester popped into my head.  He's been gone 6 weeks.  I've stopped crying as well as listening to the title track of One More Light.  It must be hitting me harder than I thought because I have no explanation for the high emotions from earlier this morning.

I need to get an LP tattoo.  I've always wanted one (since the late 90's when their first album dropped) and I think it will help with some closure.  I've never been affected to this degree when a celebrity passed away.  I thought I was okay, but I guess I'm not.

Six more hours of work to go.  I can put on that customer service smile and none will be the wiser of how I'm really feeling inside.

I miss you, Chester.


Gah, why is this still affecting me?

Sunday, March 12, 2017

The Mom Your Children Need

I feel terrible that we can't do all the extra things that other parents and kids do.  On numerous occasions, Bella has brought home flyers for stuff that she'd like to do.  Most of the time, we can't do any of them due to work schedules.

I work two jobs to make sure that we can have the things we need be it new glasses, clothes to replace the ratty stuff, new shoes because our feet are growing at an alarming rate.  I just want to make sure that the kids are happy with what they have.  I hope they're never want for anything.

So, I'm trying to get a beauty YouTube channel started.  I pick up things to test and review and create content with.  This does not go in front of my children's needs.  You ask either kid if they're happy.  I'm 98% sure both will tell you, "Yes."  You ask either kid if there are things they wish we could do more often or things they'd like to have.  They'll both tell you, "Absolutely."  Wanna know what else they'll tell you?  They'll tell you that they understand that we can't always do the awesome and fun things.  They understand that we don't always have the money to do stuff all the time.  They UNDERSTAND that so long as we're together, everything is perfect.

My family is wonderful.  My kids are fantastic.  My daughter is creative.  My bonus son is passionate.  My husband is amazingly supportive of me, his son, and our daughter.  I couldn't ask for anything more, really.  A lot of the other things will come in time and when it's right.  We'll get a break one day and we'll be appreciative of the experiences that we've had to get to that point.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Terrible Dreams

I wrote this awhile ago on my Phelan page on Facebook.

I had a terrible dream the other night--- this is what became of it

by Phelan W. Moon on Tuesday, May 24, 2011 at 1:18pm

"I wasn't running my mouth again, I swear!"

He raised his hand to strike her again.  She shielded her face, but wasn't able to protet her back.  He knew she didn't like to wear clothing revealing her back, so it was his favorite place to hit her.  He brought his hand down only to stop just before making contact; quickly he moved and picked up a rolling pin, bringing it down on the middle of her back.  He could see her fat rolls jiggle and the sight delighted him.

Amanda screamed.  Tears stained her face through streaming eye make-up, her face looking like a morbid mime.

"What have I told you about running your mouth off?!"  screamed Nathan.

"But, I didn't!  I was having a conversation with my friends!"  These two statements took several pained breaths to get out; he'd beaten her pretty badly already and that last one was still in the single digits.

"A conversation about me," he replied.

He'd gotten her there.  She had been complaining to her friends, Mayra and Victoria, about the n ature of her marriage and where it had gone wrong.  She had no idea when the regular beatings started but they'd always been there it seemed.  What she found odd was that very few of them were alcohol induced; he just liked to beat the hell out of her.  Mai and Tori were trying to help her leave when Nathan arrived home early from work.

Now, it seemed he was going to kill her before she'd have the chance to walk out the door.

"I can't leave you out of my sight!" he screamed, as he continued beating her.  "Looks like I need to have you looked in on while I'm at work."

Nathan cornered his slightly overweight (okay, pudgy) wife into a corner and again raised his hand  to strike her.  He suddently felt a need that out-weighed his desire to follow through.  He walked to the bathroom, closed the door while keeping it cracked to keep an eye on her, and took a piss.

He enjoyed seeing her on the floor, broken and beaten, writhing in the pain that he'd just delivered to her.  'That should teach her,' he thought to himself.

He decided that Kory and Jesse would be good candidates to drop by during the day to make sure Amanda wasn't doing anything stupid to get her in trouble again.  Though, part of him would keep wishing that she would fuck up and then he could beat her again.  He made the decision to talk to the guys about visiting arrangements later.

Amanda noticed a smirk of satisfaction on his face and, when he wasn't looking, attempted to bolt for the door.  Her plan was to get out of the house and to the third house down:  Victoria.

Monday, February 20, 2012

"Ugh, it stinks in here!"

I overhead this in a public restroom at a local retail grocery store.  If you think it stinks that badly, then don't use it and wait until you get home.  If you really have to go and can't wait, then shut the fuck up and real with it.  You're only in there for maybe two minutes.