New Morning, A New Day

I stood at the back door waiting for the sun to set.  I was hoping for the night to come.  I need to draw down the moon's power to infuse my body with her light.  It seemed like the night would never come.  Patience helped me wait it out and at long last, the sky was dark, the stars were out, and the moon was shining in her pregnant glory. I stood out in the field, my arms outstretched, basking in the light that shone down upon me.  I chanted the Goddess invocation and allowed the vibrations of the earth to surge right through me.  My energy was renewed. I felt like a new woman and I was ready to take on whatever lay ahead of me.

I want to write one book.  Just one.  I want it published by Penguin Publishing or Tor or somebody who publishes my favorite authors.  I've been working on a story since 2004.  I keep getting more ideas for it and then I write and write and then I stop.  Life happens to keep me from working on it more.  Work keeps me busy, as well as school; not to mention my Belladonna. One day I will finish it.  Those who've read it so far are anxiously waiting to read more.  It's been awhile since they read anything, but I know they haven't forgotten.  They really like the story.  I just need to finish it.  I also need to find it.  I'm hoping that I still have it located on the laptop I'm currently using.

I don't think my mother realizes that we have different priorities and different things going on than my sister. It seems as though my sister will always have a good opportunity to get photos of my nephew done.  That's great as I enjoy seeing pictures of him.  However, it feels like my mother is hounding me for "professional" pictures of my daughter.  "I like the silly ones, but..." is what I see a lot from her on Facebook. I'm sorry I don't get photos of my daughter all the time.  Yes, I married a photographer, but we have busy lives with work and school full time.  Doing professional photos of our daughter for my mother (or anyone else in our extended family) are not our top priority.  She's also asking for recent pictures of my bonus son.  The most recent pictures WE HAVE are from our last visit almost three years ago. I really wish she'd stop.  It seems like she's comparing me to my sister.  Maybe it's just me over-reacting,

Sometimes I feel guilty when I want to hang out outside of the home with friends.  Then again, while I do have friends here, there isn't the extra cash flow to do those things.  I don't think I spend enough time at home with my family.  I shouldn't want to go out and away from them and I feel guilty when I do.

I allow myself the freedom to be me.  I'm the only one like me and there is pride in that. I started wearing glitter to work every day a few months ago.  Now, my customers can't wait to see what I do.  They love to see how I've done my eye makeup for the day.  This helps me to stand out to be me.  There are others who do fun things with their eye makeup at work, but apparently, I stand out.  This makes me happy and I feel good.

A characteristic that I have that resembles my mother.. I'm not even sure where to start.

My friends are incredibly important to me.  They accept and love me no matter what.  My husband is my best friend.

I have no idea what kind of story this could be.  I'm not -that- creative.

One of my favorite times with Bella was actually a day when we weren't feeling very well.  We snuggled and cuddled all day.  I think she fell asleep on me at one point. I miss her falling asleep on me.  She did it so much when she was a baby.  Sometimes I miss her being a baby.

I posted this on a social networking site and the comments took the post in a direction I had not intended.  So, I'm "moving" the original post here, along with only my comments (edited). One thing that cashiers in any store would love for customers to have is etiquette at the check-out line.   Oftentimes, customers are on the phone having a conversation while the cashier is trying to do their job.  They can't do it accurately unless they're able to talk and conversate with you.  Please, put down the phone (tell the person on the other end you'll call them back) and respond to your cashier. Also, some cashiers are just naturally bubbly and in a good mood.  If you're having a bad day or are in a bad mood, the cashier can tell and they want to help you make your day a better one.  Not all cashiers are like this, but I am.  It actually hurts my feelings a bit when I ask, "Hi there!  How are you today?" and all I get is a grunt and a sour puss fac

I don't remember much of my first few years.  I know we lived in Florida (Homestead) and then moved to (West) Germany.  It's after moving to Germany that I start remembering things.  I remember the house and village we lived in.  I remember that, even then, I had two sets of friends.  This particular trend continued through high school.  I remember the places we'd go and the games we'd play.  I remember field trips to castles along the Rhine and Mosel Rivers. I wish every kid had the chance to experience what I experienced as a child.

I really admire my mother-in-law.  She's a strong and intelligence woman who doesn't let anything or anyone get in her way.  She's loving and compassionate.  If it wasn't for her, my daughter wouldn't be as awesome as she is.  My mother-in-law helped her with her walking, talking, and learning.  My daughter is so very receptive to learning and I have my mother-in-law to thank for it. She's incredible.

My most prized possession is tall enough to look my belly button in the "eye" My most prized possession has curly, flaxen locks My most prized possession sees through crystal blue orbs My most prized possession has the voice of an angel I love my daughter very much!

No, I'm not really leaving, but if I were, here's where I'd go. I'd take a trip to Columbus, Ohio and spend time with my dad.  I'd bring Bella and Pat and The Boy (if able) with me. I'd take a trip out to Southern California to visit friends and family. I'd take a trip to Australia, too.  Pat and I hooked up there and we've been going strong ever since. It's short and sweet but it's what I'd do.

My bonus son was the same age as my daughter is now when I met him; 4 almost 5 years old.  He's now 12 and started juniper high this year.  I know it's different for me than my husband, but that awesome kid has been a part of my life for almost ten years now. He is such an amazing kid.  I'm proud to call him my bonus son.  I extremely dislike the term "step-kid" and I heard the term "bonus kid" a few years ago.  I'be used that term ever since.  He's truly a bonus in my life.

I wrote this poem for my husband not long after we were married in 2005. So many ways to say I love you Sometimes all it takes is a kiss A hug or a squeeze Sometimes a smile or a laugh So many ways to show how much you mean to me Dedicating a song on the radio Finding something you've always wanted A smiling face when you come home There is no song No card To show show you, to tell you How much I love you You are my world You are everything to me As the days go by, I find that I love you more To make love to you Is the most beautiful way For me to show you All that I feel for you My days feel empty when you're not around I feel lonely, but I know I'm not alone You're always with me And that comforts me As we grow old together, My love for you will never falter If I lost you, I'd lose myself I would lose my soul You are my being You are the reason I am here You are my soulmate Mo Anam Cara I love you, My best friend My lov

It would feel wrong to write this for anyone other than my husband. Dear Patrick, I never would have guessed that in eight years time, I'd be happily married to the PH I asked a "dumb question" to.  I knew we'd be friends for a long time; that deployment proved it.  What it also proved was that you were (and still are) the one for me. I love that you can make me laugh, even when I want to be a bad mood.  Everyone may think you're a comedian, I know you are and you're my comedian.  You can always make a bad day a good day. I love that when I talk, you listen and vice versa.  Before we started dating, I had big problems with communication in relationships.  You showed me that communication is key in any relationship.  I think that's one thing that has kept us together so far.  We talk to  each other instead of at  each other, which so many other couples tend to do. I love how you stay in touch with The Boy.  I love the relationship you two have.  I

I have many favorite poems.  My favorite poet is Maya Angelou.  I love Phenomenal Woman and Still I Rise.  There's no way I could take her work and make it into something of my own.  While imitation is the best form of flattery, I don't know if she would appreciate me taking her work and twisting it around into something of mine.  Instead, I'll post those two poems here. Phenomenal Woman BY  MAYA ANGELOU Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size    But when I start to tell them, They think I’m telling lies. I say, It’s in the reach of my arms, The span of my hips,    The stride of my step,    The curl of my lips.    I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman,    That’s me. I walk into a room Just as cool as you please,    And to a man, The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees.    Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees.    I say, It’s the fire in my eyes,    And the flash of my teeth,    The swing in my w

Y'know, I've written things like this more times than I can count.  Why?  Every single job I've ever applied for had a section like this.  This is one entry that will be very, very short. I don't like writing about myself, especially when it comes to trying to talk myself up to potential employers.  Buzz words don't work as well as they want you to think. Just be yourself, yet professional.  If you can find that happy medium between being just you and being professional, you've got the cat in the bag.

My first love was Ryan James McCarthy.  We met in the 8th grade and really hit it off.  He was quite a bit shorter than me, so it made things a little awkward.  Then again, 8th grade was awkward.  We met through a mutual friend, Mike Falkner, and it was the three of us all the time.  Just me and the boys. I don't know when we realized it, but we hooked up before Valentine's Day.  We were together off and on from 8th grade thru 10th grade (the year he moved away).  I pined for him, but my interests were also on a guy a grade below me (but a year older than me and TALLER).  Pete Coleman and I were really good friends.  In fact, we still talk. I met up with my first love again after I graduated high school.  I was living with my best friend, Tanya Collins, in Ventura, California and Ryan was going to the University of Idaho in Moscow, Idaho.  He paid for a bus ticket for me to visit him for eight days around his birthday and Halloween.  It was the best eight days of my life at

Some have asked what my writing style is like.  As far as blogs go, I typically write the same way I talk, with varying use of words depending on who I'm speaking with.  My speech tends to acclimate to the speech patterns of whoever I'm talking to. When it comes to my story writing, I get a little from here, a little from there.  Often, my writing style is similar to whichever author I'm reading at the time.  The story I've been working on for the last several years started out as my own writing style.  I started reading the Dark Hunter series by Sherrilyn Kenyon and my story became a work of romance instead of fiction.  I read two trilogies from Nora Roberts, which only fueled the writing style.  Last summer, I started reading a series by Yasmine Galenorn. I composed poetry when I was younger; I haven't written much of it in recent years.  I think I was still deployed when I wrote my last poem.  I think I need to write one for Belladonna for each of her birthda

We all know what happened.  It was a huge wake-up call.  I have somewhat controversial views on this. Yes, it sucks that it happened, but it brought Americans together again.  You see so many countries out there who are so proud of their people.  All the time.  It makes me sad that it has to take some pretty drastic measures for us to be proud.  Yeah, you see a lot of people wearing red, white, and blue in support and love for the good ol' United States, but those people are either veterans (like myself) or are from certain parts of the country.  I've been all over the continental United States and I've seen that those who live in the South are the most patriotic; it doesn't have to take a tragedy for them to feel kinship with one another. It bothers me that for the rest of the United States, something absolutely terrible had to happen. I'm proud to have served my country.  It's terrible that the World Trade Center was destroyed.  It was a wake-up call tha

If I could jump into any work of art, it would be.. I'm not really sure.  I've actually been thinking about this question since the tenth and I really can't think of one that I like enough.  There are plenty of artists I like (Monet, Da Vinci, Dali), but none of their work really jumps out at me.  I guess I'll have to think about it more.

I'm still not feeling very well today.  I had a relatively short shift at work-- five and a half hours.  I have a full shirt tomorrow, but I honestly don't know if I'll be able to go all day.  It sucks that I can't earn sick days until after I've been there for a year. Seriously, who does that?

I made a few small changes to my blog.  Nothing new to the layout, but I changed the font and background image.  I think it fits a bit better than what I had before.  I may change the image to something different, but, for now it works.

Today is my mom's birthday.  I was so wrapped up in my head (almost literally, with the head cold I've got) that I *almost* forgot.  I didn't want to strain or hurt my voice by calling her, so I left a birthday message on her Facebook wall.

I suppose one of my happiest times would be when I graduated high school.  I was excited to be done with it and really looked forward to where my life was going to go. Another happy time for me was when I realized who I was going to spend the rest of my life with.  I'd made a best friend on my ship and it turned out that we both had feelings for each other. A happy time after that would have been the night my daughter was born.  Holding her for the first time was incredible and I wouldn't trade that feeling for all of the money in the world.

I don't think I have.  If I have, it's in a journal or diary that I had a long time ago.  I haven't had an actual vacation where I'm spending money on stuff since I was 17 or 18 years old and I was on my senior trip with my friend and her family.  We were in Orlando at a timeshare for about a week.  By the time the week was over, I looked as red as a lobster!  I could move very well for a few days and pretty much wore my swim suit for a week.  It sucked.  A LOT.

How about the one where I thought I was getting an allergy attack and it turned into an end-of-summer head cold?  I had to pretty much cancel my plans of going to class today.  I emailed both teachers and heard back from one of them.  I have to work a full day tomorrow and I can NOT miss it.  I had time-and-a-half for working Monday so to make it worth it, I HAVE to work tomorrow.  At least I don't have class again until Tuesday.

So, tomorrow I have a full work day from 9am - 5pm.  I also have a government class from 6pm-9pm, so I'll pretty much be gone from the house for 12+ hours.  I'll be home for my lunch hour, since it only takes me 10 minutes one-way. I'm still recovering from the last four workdays.  I've had four full eight hour days and standing in one spot, hardly able to move more than maybe two square feet at a time.  Sometimes, I can get out of my register cubicle to scan stuff in a cart, but that doesn't always happen. I'll be able to eat lunch at home (I think I'm going to skip the mayo and mustard on my sandwich to cut down on the bad calories and whatnot).  I'm going to see if I can stop by Taco Bell or something on my way to class tomorrow evening. I'll be happy when tomorrow is over because then it'll be another day off from work.  This entire week is a nearly 40 hour work week, something I'm not used to with this particular job.  If I can get

For me, it's always been in school, not back to school.  I still have a year before my baby girl starts school.  I think I'm going to get her school list items together before she even starts school in order to avoid the rush at the end of next summer.

It actually takes a bit for me to write or blog or journal. Many times, I need inspiration to write anymore. If there is a daily prompt to write about, I'll write. I'm trying to get in the habit if writing every single day.  Sometimes it's hard.  Life tends to get in the way.

Don't rush your cashier.  They will only move slower.  If you have sale items, they won't give them to you.  That is all.

These lyrics are in Italian, one of the most beautiful languages out there.  When you read the English translation, it's quite sad. Tanto tempo fa, Un uccello fatale di nome, Chromaggia, Incrociò in volo la freccia di un, Arciere, Lungo le coste di lava, Per anni, pensando di essere, Inseguita, Scappò dalla freccia, [ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/sarah_brightman/chromaggia.html ] Chromaggia, Chromaggia, Perché non affronti il pericolo? La freccia era legata all'ala, E lei volva per liberarsene, Tirando la freccia, Altri son ferriti per mia colpa, Mia colpa, Giú! Verso la bocca del diavolo! La sua freccia, I miei occhi. Chromaggia, come take these eyes... ! I would rather be blind! A long time ago, A fatal bird named Chromaggia met the arrow of an archer while flying Along the lava coasts for years, thinking she was being chased She escaped the arrow Chromaggia, Chromaggia Why not face the danger? The arrow was attached to

Most of the memories I have from this past summer include a lot of work and a lot of school.  I didn't get a chance to spend a lot of time with my family.  I think I spent more time at both work and school than I did with my family this summer.  I just keep telling myself that when school is done, I'll have an Associate's degree in something that will help me get a better job than the cashier job I have now. I went to the lake with a couple of friends of mine earlier in the summer before it got really, really hot.  Bella loved it and and made some new friends.  As it happens, one of those new friends lives less than a minute away!  We haven't been over there, though.  I work with her daddy and bonus mom.  Hopefully we'll be able to hang out more often. While this next bit has nothing to do with today's title, I think that if I really like the math instructor I have, I might take an additional math class or two to complete my Associate's in Business Admin

I was 12 years old when I received my very first diary.  It was white with pink ballet slippers on it and there was a lock and key for it.  I tried to write in it every single day, but found that my life wasn't really that interesting.  When that year was up, I still managed to get a new diary or journal for the next year. After high school (and six years of writing in a journal), I found out about online journals.  I had one on DeadJournal.com, Diaryland, and one more.  Later, I found Blogspot.  I liked the interface much better.  MySpace and CafeMom came along and both had journal sections of their pages.  Thus, I tried the journal online a bit more. I don't have too many journal or blogging influences.  I write when I want to write or when I have something to write about.  It's not the typical "I did this today..." anymore.  Thanks to social networking sites, like Facebook, I don't write those anymore.