New Morning, A New Day

For those who are curious, the first session went well. Filling out some paperwork of course, and then just dove in. She asked me questions, I answered. Mostly just figuring out where to start from, I guess. I like her a lot; she's a nice woman. She's Middle-Eastern with a slight accent and extremely fluent in English. Then again, she's been practicing in San Diego for 25 years. I already see why people who hate therapists like her. She seems to genuinely want to help. We figured out the three things we're going to work on: depression, anxiety and my sex drive.. getting rid of the first two and bringing back the last one. Hopefully things will be figured out by the time we move. Thank you to EVERYONE for your continued support; I really do appreciate it!

I've got it today at 6pm with her. I hope things go well. Once sessions are started, I'm hoping for no meds. I'm hoping something works. Now, I thought that, with PPD, it only happened/occured within the first six months of having your baby. Treated or untreated, I thought it would go away and not fester. Belladonna's 16 months old now. These thoughts and images.. I've had them since we brought her home that November afternoon. Were those signs of PPD? What about anxiety [disorder]? What's the difference betweenn anxiety and anxiety disorder? I've never actually dealt with a "mental" illness so I'm full of questions.

I spoke with her for a good two hours this morning, just figuring things out and what my options were. She's a really nice lady and printed out a nice long list of therapists near my home who take TricarePrime. I'll be calling them today. I'll also be calling my OB and asking her about my birth control; maybe not taking it anymore will help. I've noticed a little bit that I want sex a little bit more when I'm not on any birth control. I always thought I was the most horny then because of my period and not having sex to keep from making a bloody mess. Makes us wonder though. Thank you to everyone for the support; it's appreciated. -Update- Just a little update. I called the first psychologist recommended to me by the social worker this morning. Not sure how I really feel about going to therapy, but apparently I really need to figure some things out. I made a post somewhere about terrible thoughts I've had; someone told me that it sounds like anxiety and possi

Simply put.. I just want to cry. In fact, I am. Not full blown crying, just tears streaming down my face (no runny nose or anything). I'm being faced with choices; choices I really don't want to deal with. My emotional/mental state, how I want to practice. I went to my obsetrician on Wednesday to see about my libido. After some conversation, she asked me to fill out a PPD (post partem depression) scale/survey. Based on the answers I gave her and my family history that I told her, it sounds very much like depression. My husband asked me later that day (after I'd told him about it) what I had to be depressed about. He didn't mean it to sound condescending. It did a little bit, but I know he didn't want to be. Truth is, I don't know. Sometimes, I just don't feel happy or want to cry when there's nothing to cry about. Sometimes I wonder if it's just something that's from my past that my mind doesn't want to let go of yet. Maybe my mind doesn'

I've thought about going off the pill as well. I've gone so far as to track my ovulation cycle so as not to get pregnant again. I really don't want an IUD. I know, the rhythm method isn't exactly the best way to do it, but it's all I've got when I don't want to use condoms. I'll keep up with my pills until I see my OB next; I can talk to her about trying to go off the pill to "fix" this as well as the fibroids (mentioned above). For those wanting to know what the original post was about, click me . I called my OB office last week to make an appointment for this week. I am seeing my OB this afternoon. I re-read the original journal to this and wrote down what RanaAurora and carolynn said; I didn't want to miss anything, you know? Hopefully she'll have some news for me. Be it good or bad, at least it's news. If you want to keep updated, just come back to this journal; I'm not going to clog up the Journals with tidbit upda

Bella is feeling oh-so-much better now. Her fever broke before Saturday, though she was still clingy throughout the weekend. Her butt rash turned out to be a yeast infection/rash. We now have cream to help it get better. She's slowly but surely returning to the toddler we know and love. I had my surgery follow-up appointment yesterday. What a waste of time that was! I got there when I was supposed to but waited in the exam room for an HOUR before he made it to me. Had he not knocked on the door when he did, I would have gotten up and rescheduled; I can't afford to miss two and a half hours of work without pay. I don't want to use more of my PTO; the more I have saved up, the bigger the check I get from ITS when I quit and relocate. That money is going to help us with the small things once we get to Colorado. I can't afford to use it up because the damn plastic's office is incompetent. On a lighter note, I ran into two old friends from the ship. It was nice talking w