Sunday, November 21, 2010


This is the only thing my daughter is asking for.  I figure since that's the case, I don't mind getting them for her, as we can afford them.  They're super cute and really neat.  The adults thought they were pretty cool.. at least, the women did.  The boys were like, "Eh, they're toys."  The pictures below are the two that Bella received for her birthday. They're so cute!!!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Happy Birthday, My Bella!

Four years ago today, this very moment, I was very pregnant.  I was eight days overdue and waiting for my daughter to arrive.  My mother had arrived just a couple of hours from right now four years ago, rubbed my belly and said, "Bella, it's time to come out and play!"  Several hours after that, my water broke and I waited for the contractions.  This was also me freaking out about what to do.  I was dumbfounded for about half an hour.

Me at 9 months

We rushed to the hospital, with Dee keeping track of my contractions.  During the car ride, I was sending mass text messages to nearly everyone in my phone book telling them my water broke and that I was in labor.  I received a few back asking who was messaging them, but the rest were wishing me luck.

We arrived at the hospital and my pants were soaked in amniotic fluid.  I was contracting fast and in pain.  We rushed up the the labor and delivery floor.  I peed on a stick for them to make sure that it was, in fact, amniotic fluid and then I was examined.  I have no idea how far dilated I was or how effaced I was.  All I knew was that I was in pain with the contractions.  After a few different doctors examining me, they came to the conclusion that she was breech.

Not long after receiving that news, I was being prepared for surgery.  I didn't want them to turn her and chance getting the umbilical cord stuck and I didn't want them to try and deliver her vaginally with her being breech.  I told them I wanted a Cesarean section.

The next block of time is a blur for me.  I remember that I was in a gurney, being asked questions about my medical history, both moms answering for me.  I was given medication to alleviate the pain and my lower abdomen was numbed.  I kept thinking I had to poop, but that was more like my body telling me to push.  Everyone around me told me not to push.  But, I wanted to push!!  The sensation was overwhelming!

I was wheeled into the OR and Patrick was there with me, holding my hand, kissing my face.  I could feel tugging, but I felt no pain.  They'd given me a saddle-block, which numbed everything from the ribcage down.  They pulled my darling daughter from my uterus and held her to me.  I did what any other mother did; I sobbed and gave her a kiss.  I wasn't able to hold her until later.  Now that she had been delivered, we both needed to be cleaned up.

Belladonna Satine was delivered at 2113 on November 18, 2006 at Naval Medical Center in San Diego, California.  She was 7 pounds 6.5 ounces and was 18 inches long.  At the age of 4, she's 35 pounds and 40 inches tall.  She's a tall and thin 4-year-old.  At this age, it's hard to find pants that fit her.  She's long in the leg and small in the waist.  We either need to use belts or settle with capri pants.

Newborn Bella

Bella 1 Year

Bella 2 Years

Bella 3 Years

Bella 4 Years
To be added later.  =)

She's already gone

And with that, my mother is gone.  I think it's stupid; she promised to be here for a week.

Her husband is sick and all alone.  Okay, why can't he be an ADULT and take care of himself?  I wonder if anyone else finds that it's mighty curious that he just happened to get sick the week she chose to come and visit ME.  I find it really curious.  Thank you, Asshole, once again for ruining a perfectly good visit.

On top of that, she claimed to be "miserable."  It's too humid, she's always hot.  What?  It's the middle of November and it's been CHILLY since she got here!  We keep it warm in the house because Dee runs really cold.

Personally, I think she just wanted to get the hell out of the trailer we live in; I think she can't stand the fact that we're in a trailer and not an apartment or house.  I'm also pretty sure that she associates it with trailer trash types.

Fine; we don't need or want you down here.  Come back and visit after your husband dies.  At least then, you won't have to worry about him getting sick the MOMENT you leave to visit YOUR kid and grandkid.

He can suck a big fat cock and choke on it.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Unemployed again

Today, I'm heading over to Texas Work Force to apply for a few city jobs.  I really hope it works out.

My mom is here visiting for a week; she arrived yesterday, late morning.  I think we're going to head out to Walmart this afternoon and pick up curtains for our bedroom and Bella's bedroom.  We're using shawls and afghans from Ireland as curtains.

I've also returned from the Texas Work Force center to apply for some jobs.  A couple of them sound very promising; it's just a matter of them getting back to me in a timely manner.  We have bills coming up within the next week that REQUIRE my paycheck.  I hope something comes up soon.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Blogs that I follow

My buddy, Mike, has a blog on livejournal that I follow:  Creative Critically
This is an interesting and very informative blog:  One Witch's Wonderland
One of my most awesome friends; and I've only actually met her once:  That's what she said

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

I know who my Secret Ninja is!

Just kidding.  I don't.  I do have some guesses, though.  There isn't any specific reason why I'm guessing the following for my Secret Ninja; I'm just throwing it out there.


That's all I've got for now.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Ninja Pregnancy Triad

Last night, I had an odd dream.  For whatever reason, I was dreaming of the characters from "Breaking Dawn."  No idea why; I haven't read the book in forever.  But, the main female character was pregnant.  That female character evolved into me.
I dreamed about making a Secret Ninja post in here about "Guess Who Completed the Pregnant Ninja Triad?" post.
I remember we were really scared about something and had an amnio (thank god dreams can null any pain) and we found out we were having a boy; we were going to have our Jareth Constantine (another mouthful, I know).
While we're basking in this news, I see a cut-scene (like out of a television show or movie) to Wil Wheaton playing a bad guy (he does it so well!).  Sort of.  He plays a teacher IM'ing on Facebook with one of his struggling students (male; kid's mom is right there monitoring) and the student get really frustrated with something and, when Mom isn't looking, types his cell phone number into the chat box with a request to call/text, and closes the window.  Mom asks what happened and he says that the teacher had to go.
Another cut-scene.  The teacher (Wil Wheaton) and the kid meet up.  It looks harmless, but we all know how this particular story ends.
I'm still not sure about the Ninja Pregnancy Triad.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010


Today is spent looking out the window to a gloomy, overcast day.  Temps are relatively cool.  Today is also spent making copies of six month's worth of weekly time sheets for only five personnel.  I started this yesterday afternoon, picking up on it this morning.  I'm on the first week of June.  I have a long day and it almost noon.  I think they're covertly trying to mentally log how much time is spent online.  Technically, it's all day due to my Pandora radio.  This current post was typed in Word before posting to the group.  I'm hoping to have July started by the time I leave today.
I got a call from Mollye (yep, that's how it's spelled) from Century 21 yesterday evening (just before leaving work).  Patrick and I spoke with her when we were down here in May getting a feel for the place.  She told us that when we were ready to start looking for a house, to contact her and she'd get our VA stuff started.  We've decided to not go with the VA because they take forever and our friends in CO had a tough time with them and went with a private lender.  Mollye gave me the number to a private lender that has apparently worked wonders.  She tells me that the last two or three clients who've purchased a home through her wouldn't have normally been approved for much of anything, if at all.  I've asked Patrick (though Facebook messages) to call the lender and make an appointment, since his schedule is the one that changes more often than mine.  I hope he calls her.  Mollye is going to try and get us in to see the house we want on Wednesday afternoon (tomorrow).
From what Mollye tells me, if we can get the ball rolling now, we could be in a house within the next 4-6 weeks.  Now, she isn't guaranteeing (that word looks wrong but Word says it's right) anything but it's conceivable that we could be in a house by the end of the year.  This would be fabulous.  What would be even more fabulous is if things were moving so quickly we'd be in a house by the time we celebrate Bella's birthday (though on November 18th, celebrating on the 20th instead).
Oh, and I hate sharing the copy machine with the fax machine.  It blows, especially when a 20+ page fax is coming in.  Holy donkey balls, people!
Oh yeah, since all of this copying needs to be done tonight, I can guran-damn-tee you I'll have OT this week.

Monday, November 01, 2010

My Anxiety - I made a HUGE step this weekend

Y'all should be damn proud of me.. damnit.
Our friend, Jessica, swung by the house (ha! not a house) to pick up myself and Bella to go to her Mexican Uncle's place.  (They're pretty much adopted family and everyone in the family seems to refer to them by the moniker.)  We stopped off at Walmart so I could get new shoes for Bella (we spent ten minutes searching her tiny-ass room for her other Tinkerbell shoe to no avail) and some socks that fit.  From there, we were driving for about 20 minutes to get to her family's place.
We get there and people are just showing up.  Some others had already shown up and things were going well.  Jessica's husband, Derek (Pat's best friend), was already there.  Both Jessica and Derek kept telling me that Bella is already considered family by proxy (did I use that right?) and that even if I can't see her, someone does and will keep an eye on her.  I was VERY leery about this, even though they're all technically family.
Bella had a great time running around the property, looking at all the Halloween decorations and playing with a puppy named Sweetie.  She even made a friend with a little boy dressed as Zorro; they took turns "scaring" each other.  Too cute.
As the evening wore on, a bouncy house was introduced.  Enter my anxiety music.  I was sitting by the fire staying warm (it gets damn cold her at night!) and Bella and Derek went over to the bouncy house to play.  He let her run loose into the bouncy house and returned to where I was near the fire (I'm terrible with measurements, but let's just say that it's the length of a trailer home from the bouncy house to where I was sitting).  I wanted her to have fun with the other kids.  It took ALL of my self control to NOT get up and hover, like a helicopter parent.
She ended up coming out on her own because it was too wet inside.  The tarping and whatnot was a little wet when they unfurled it to blow it up moments earlier.  She was inside for all of maybe five minutes before she wanted out.  We told her she could go back in if she wanted once it was dry.  She didn't go back in.  She was having too much fun visiting with everyone.
There was even a very elderly abuelita there, wrapped up in blankets and enjoying the laughing children.  They didn't speak a word of the other's language, but it was awesome to see the interaction.

Moral of the story?  Be damn proud that I'm slowly overcoming this damn anxiety.  On a scale of 1-10, for the whole five minutes she was completely out of my sight but among friendlies, I was feeling a 7.. maybe 8.