Friday, November 24, 2006

November 18, 2006

After waiting until Auntie Amber (Bubbles) returned home from Japan and Grandma Becky showed up for a visit, Belladonna Satine decided to make her grand entrance.
My water broke around 4:45pm on Saturday. I was just minding my own business, playing Talismania and I felt a small gush in my crotch. I thought I'd maybe pissed myself. I sat there for another few seconds (to finish the link I was making) and then got up to check. On my way to the bathroom, I felt another gush. Then I ran and said, "Oh shit." With the bathroom door wide open, I tell Pat and his mom that my water just broke. When there was a little break in the gushing, I did away with whatever pants I was wearing and was given a towel to "wear" instead. I "wore" it for about an hour. Went outside, had a cigarette and remained calm. I was fine. Then the contractions started.
The first contraction was at 5:04pm and we kept track of them almost until delivery. At first, they were about every 7-10 minutes, kinda strong, like a menstrual cramp. By the time we left the house (about an hour after the first contraction), they were something like every 5-7 minutes (for the next half hour to an hour, I think; I lost track of time after we got to the hospital).
While the on-call doc did his check, I kept feeling stronger contractions. It also looked like I had shit myself. I had no idea why. Then, they did the ultrasound. Between Monday last week and Saturday, Belladonna had gone from a head-down position to breech, ass end first (so that she was basically folded in half). That would explain the shit... literally. Because of her position, meconium (sp?) was leaking out all over the place. They asked me if I wanted a C-section. The contractions were so strong I just wanted them to be over and done with. That, and I'd heard that there are sometimes complications with giving birth vaginally with a breech baby; I didn't want to chance anything. So, they wheeled me to a prep room for the C-section.
The contractions were getting stronger (10+) with her being positioned the way she was, it felt like I had to take a REALLY big crap. I mean, HUGE. You know that feeling you get when you NEED to poop and you know it's going to be awhile on the toilet? You know that pressure you feel? THAT is what I felt. I kept saying, "I need to push! I need to push!" They told me no, that I couldn't push. There was an anesthesiologist (sp?) in there asking me all kinds of questions that I barely paid attention to. I was screaming. I was yelling. I was wailing. I felt really bad for the staff because they had to hear it all. I never once screamed at Pat though; contractions were WAY too strong for me to worry about yelling at him. Besides, for a time, both of our mothers were in the room with me (while he went to change into scrubs, smoke and use the bathroom).
I was wheeled into the OR and given a spinal shot, instead of an epidural. I guess there wasn't enough time for the epidural to really make a difference. I'm not really too clear on that part. I have no idea what time I was wheeled in, but at 9:13pm, Belladonna Satine was born. I heard her cry a little, but not much. This was to let me know how much she would cry the following days. Pat was there to cheer me on and cut the umbilical cord. My mom and his mom were in the waiting area. I teared up a bit when they finally showed her to me; I think Pat did, too. I don't remember a lot of happenings after that. I was pretty doped up and could have easily slept through the C-section, but I wanted to see my little girl.
I was wheeled into a recovery area and was to stay there until I could move my toes and legs (the spinal shot had numbed me from the rib cage down). Pat, my mom and his mom were there and showed me pictures (at least, I think they did; like I said, I was pretty drugged up). They stuck around for maybe half an hour, I think and then went home for the night. The nurses brought Belladonna to me and wheeled me to Labor & Delivery recovery, where I was to stay until Tuesday afternoon.
I must say that she is one of the most well-behaved newborns I've ever seen. She rarely cries and when she does, it's usually when she's getting a diaper change. She has Pat's hair color (we're crossing our fingers that she's spared his eyebrows) and we're thinking a good combination of both our noses. I look and stare at her every single day since Saturday and can't believe that she's mine. I can't believe that this beautiful little girl was growing inside for 9 months (and a week, the late stinker). Every single day I look at her, know that she's my little girl, I just want to cry... I'm so happy.
Anyway, for those (in the area) asking about visiting. I think next week would be best, that way we've settled in a little bit. I'm on leave until some time in December (I think). My leave started yesterday morning and it's for 42 days. Please call us (on the cell phone or house phone; message for that number) before coming over, so we're not too surprised.
Angel, his mom's 9 year-old shi-tzu, is totally taken by the baby. The first thing she does after waking up in the morning, is checking on the baby. I'm thinking that she'll be Bella's very own little guard dog. It's cute as hell.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Last post

At least for now.

I haven't been very good at updating things here. I only know of one, maybe two, people who read this particular blog. to me, that isn't enough to keep it updated. That, and well, we haven't had a chance to play much since he got home.

I'm now almost eight and a half months pregnant. Baby's due in about three weeks... 19 days. Room might as well be considered done. We have a portable crib that we're going to keep downstairs and a bassinet is on the way. We're ordering the crib online (easier that way) after this next payday. We're using my old dresser my mother refinished for her dresser; all of her clothes are put away in it now, including the blankets we've received thus far. One drawer left now.

We've moved into a much better home. Since our family is growing, we requested a larger housing unit and got a four-bedroom. Now everyone has their own room and we have space for everything.

Not much more to update on. For those who read this blog, you should know of the one I actually updated kind of regularly. Keep checking that one.

Friday, August 04, 2006

He been home over a month now and just checked into his new command. Their hours aren't too bad; he starts his day 15 minutes before I do and ends it 45 minutes before I do. So, it all works out.

The pregnancy is going well. I'm about to reach the end of Month 6 (if I have counted correctly). Week 26 starts today so I think it's safe to say that I'm six months pregnant now. Whew, who knew? I'm not as tired as before but still tired nonetheless. I still haven't gained too much weight, but I'm not worried about it at this point. I was 156 when I found out back in mid-March; I'm now 163, so I'm still doing good. Bella is 1.5 - 2 pounds now. I can feel her moving more; so can Pat. It's been absolutely lovely.

We went to Colorado for a few days last week. Kat & Bird finally got married. That was on Friday. Saturday night, her folks treated the wedding party and out-of-towners to dinner and a show (literally) at Heritage Square. I had a great time and I think the baby picked up on it, because once we got to bed that night, she wouldn't stop moving. Sunday was breakfast with my friend Dominique and Renaissance Festival before flying out that night.

I was able to get automatic payments set up for the credit cards, so they shouldn't be calling the house anymore. It looks like four cards have already gone through with payments, so that is good.

Amber is doing my baby shower. Since we're not too sure exactly when her ship is going to Japan for their hull-swap, we figured this Saturday would be best. I gave her the names and numbers of people I knew for certain would be in the area; I wasn't sure about a couple of them, so if you read this and wonder why you weren't called, that's the reason (not because I don't like you; that's too junior high-ish). I just thought you were out of town this weekend. There's a girl at work I need to get something for; she's due the last week of November (her OB told her the first week of December earlier this week, but she's still going by the original date).

Not really much else to say. It's just another Friday.

Friday, June 30, 2006

So much to do, so little time

Michael will be home soon. Less than 48 hours from now, I'll see him standing at the baggage claim. It will be the first time in about four months. And it will be wonderful. I did a little bit of shopping at Rite Aid the other night and picked up some cards for him, telling him just how much he means to me. If I remember, I'll post them at the end of this blog.

Also, I'll be posting another belly pic tonight. Today, I start week 21. I had an appointment this morning. I guess they saw a benign fibroid on my uterus from my ultrasound a couple of weeks ago. They told me not to worry about it and that it will probably go away on its own. It looks like my uterus is measuring just above my belly button and considering I'm starting week 21, she deduced it was just a full bladder. I wasn't so sure, then I got up after the appointment and had to rush to the bathroom. Heard Belladonna's heartbeat, 150. And she was moving all around!! It took the doc a couple of minutes to pinpoint where she was so she could get a heartbeat. That's my girl. *smiles*

Michael still doesn't know but I'm not worried about him reading the blog; he's leaving too soon to get online. If I know him as well as I think I do, he'll get up with enough time to wake up, do his morning routine, dress and leave for the plane with our friend, Kari. I painted up a black tank top (with a shelf bra) with pink fabric paint that says, "It's a girl!" I think he'll like it. He'll enjoy the fact that he was right on both accounts (one that I was pregnant when he left just too early for the test to catch it and two that it's a girl; both of these he told me the morning he left). He'll be ecstatic to learn that he was right.

Now, his mom and I will be doing a lot of things around here to prepare for his homecoming. First thing Saturday morning (tomorrow), we're both getting up and dropping off my car at the dealership at 8am. The car is getting oil changed as well as an exterior/interior detailing so that it looks all nice and pretty and doesn't smell like stale smoke when I go to pick him up on Sunday.

After we drop off the car, it's off to Navy Federal. I need to get a cashier's check for something I bought for him. His cell phone majorly sucks and I gave him the weblink for a phone model that I really like and asked his thoughts. He said that he liked how it looked which made me think, "I better hope so since that's the one I'm getting for you!" I found one on eBay and messaged the guy about buying it outright instead of bidding on it. I explained to him that I wanted to get it for my husband who's returning home from a deployment. When they read that, they were more than willing to help me out. So, now I'm getting a phone that's worth over $300 for a mere $165, and that includes the shipping and handling. Not a bad deal, if I say so myself. It probably won't get here for about ten days or so, unless they express ship it. I'll send a note with it asking for express shipping and add about ten dollars, in hopes that it will be enough to cover the extra cost. The things I do for my husband; I love him so much.

After the bank, we come back home... unless we have recycable stuff in Mom's car, then it's off to the recycle center. If we can fit everything, we'll defintely go to the recycling center; as it happens, I just found one relatively close to where we live, so it's just on the way home. I don't know if Navy Fed will be open that early, so if it isn't, we'll do that after the recycle center.

Now, once we're home, it's not stopping. There is a LOT of clutter around here. Those of you who have been to my house (especially since February), know how cluttered it is. It's not really dirty, just a lot of clutter. The last time I went through and did a lot of cleaning, I had taken some caffeine/diet pills. I really don't think I'll be able to do that this time around. Almost a pity, but I'm okay with not having to take them.

By the time we're all done with the house cleaning, I think I'll be heading up to Target or Wal-Mart to pick up some new sheets and a lovely new comforter set. I want the bedroom to look really nice for him when he gets home, so that includes picking up a new bed set. *grins* I found the one I wanted about a month or so ago, but didn't have the money available to buy it. Now that I do, it's not there anymore. Oh well. I *will* find another one.

Hopefully by the time that's all done, there won't be much left except for maintaining it. Then, it's off to bed. I'm hoping to get up early enough (but not too early) to shower and shave. I plan on going to Fantastic Sam's or something to get my hair trimmed and put into pigtails (his request) and then have those curled. I want to look all kinds of cute when he gets home.

Before I go to bed though, I'll have to swing back to the dealership to pick up my car. It's going to look so pretty!! I just need to do two more things to it before I'm completely satisfied with it. It needs a full tune up (did one last year and it's due for one now) and get a new front end. When I first got the car, I didn't know the dimensions of it that well and ended up scraping the bottom when I'd park someplace that had one of those cement blocks or had a sidewalk. Needless to say that whenever I go through a carwash or slam really hard on my breaks, it falls off. There really isn't anything to hold it on and I think it costs about $200 to get a brand new one. That will have to wait until another payday. Tune up next payday; front end, the payday after that. Yeah, that sounds about right.

By the time I bring the car home, I just might be ready to pass out.

So, I have a 36 hours. It's just finding the needed energy for it. I'm still waiting for the supposed "energy boost" during the second trimester. Knowing my luck, I won't get it until damn near the end of it. Oh well. I think that's it for now. This was a nice long entry, methinks. It's nice to get my plans all out on "paper" so to speak.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Home Soon

Michael will be home soon. He'll be home in about three weeks and by July 4th. Great way to spend Independence Day, methinks.

I'm going on 17 weeks now; I found out what I'm having in about ten days. So happy!! And Michael won't find out until he gets his scrawny ass home. *sigh* I can't wait.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Take a long walk off a short pier

I'm tired of the Navy. I want out. I want Michael out. We want to go home to Denver, where we belong. We don't like California and California doesn't like us. And you know what? We're perfectly okay with that. I have my pregnancy orders now; I check in on Tuesday since Monday is a holiday. Michael's homecoming is back up the f*cking air again and I hate it. I was hoping he'd be home for the ultrasound appointment. It doesn't look like he will be. It's bullsh*t. I love him and I want him home.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

14 ...

... weeks now.

I'm still fucking tired. I want to go home and sleep. I don't have my pillow at work otherwise I'd try and sleep here. So much for that idea.

I was hoping to be able to talk with Michael via email today but it doesn't look to be likely. It's bullshit.

Monday, May 08, 2006

So far away/doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?

That's kinda, sorta how I feel at the moment. Michael is so far away right now. My friends are so far away right now. Michael's mother is staying with us for awhile. She and her shi-zu, Angel.

I miss Michael. I want him back home... now. I'm into my second trimester now, 13 1/2 weeks or so. I'm really excited and I'm anxiouosly awaiting the energy boost I'm supposed to have this trimester.

Emails from Michael have been few and far between lately. I guess the server went down where he is and it just messed everything else up. He called me yesterday, which was nice. It was good to hear his voice; I've gone so long without hearing it.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

So long, so long

I'm almost 12 weeks pregnant. Michael and I are so excited!!! He's been able to send me videos while he's been away, which is nice. He sends them to me at work and at home so I can watch them whenever, wherever I want. The girl I work with thought it was cute. She told me she thought SHE was sap. Nah, Michael and I are saps.

It's almost time to go home, I can't wait to go home. We had a potluck of sorts at work today and I ate soooo much!!! One of the older guys I work with is sending me home with a whole cherry pie, which was nice of him. Cleanup was easy. I brought in macaroni and cheese (using three boxes last night) and was hoping more people would eat it. They ate maybe one box-worth of macaroni and cheese. I'm getting sick of it at home. Maybe I'll just leave it here until it's gone. Yeah, that's what I'll do.

Found a new game to play at work. Fun stuff. :)

Thursday, April 13, 2006

looooong day

Today is going to be long, I know it. I'm sleepy and eating some blueberry yogurt. I don't know how long it's been in the fridge, so I hope it's still good. There's no date on it. I don't feel sick yet, but I feel oh-so-tired. I might find somplace here and sleep for a little while.

I need some sleep.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Too much shit

Michael's homecoming is up in the air right now. It was mentioned that he'd be flying home on the 24th of this month. Then, HR/Personnel told him, I think, that he may not fly home until late May. I wish someone would give us a good answer, an answer that we want to hear. Not this bullshit.

His pay has been fucked up, too. Apparently, they had him down as single instead of married. It's bullshit. He should have been getting extra money starting the 1st of this month. When it didn't happen, I emailed him. He talked to the personnel people again and they told him it should show up on the 15th. Umm, no it won't. I checked his statement and it's still his normal pay. I told him. He went back and that's when we found out they fucked his shit up. If they've had him single this whole time, I wonder if there is any backpay. I just emailed him about it. I doubt there is, but it's nice to dream.

May 1st will be the paycheck with the extra money. It will be wonderful. I can get a lot of the bills paid, I can get the rent all caught up (apparently we missed one in October) and I can buy FOOD and not run out before the next payday. I might even get myself an iPod; I've wanted one for sooooo long. I want a black one with 60GB. Oh yeah. That would be perfect. I want to get one for Michael, too.

Oh, oh, oh. He's lost weight since he's been gone. He's been going to the gym the last couple of months three times a week for about an hour or so. He's lost 20 pounds!! I'm so proud of him!! I've stayed the same weight, roughly. I don't go below 152 and I don't go above 155. He was over 180 pounds when he left (he's 5'9") and he's now 159 pounds. I can't wait to see him. He's going to look great!

That's all for now, I suppose. I leave in about a half an hour, not to return for the rest of the day. Whoopee!

Friday, March 31, 2006

the weekend is here

With the weekend here, I can only hope that I have a better chance to talk to Michael. I've been emailing him pictures of me via my phone and sending sound clips with them. I've also been sending him one or two stories a day from this blog. I think he's enjoying them. I hope he's enjoying them.

I'm hoping today is an early day from work. I want to pick up my maternity clothes, pay my rent, eat my chick-fil-a and see my movie. I want to see V for Vendetta today. We'll see how that works out.

I'm still so tired though. A friend of mine sent me TWO care packages with stuff for me, Michael and baby. We're still hoping for a girl, but will be happy with whatever we get. Something keeps telling me that we're having a boy. I dunno yet though. We won't know for another couple of months yet. I'm going to wait until he gets home before we figure out what sex it is. My mother is very happy about it. I've already set up a baby registry at for it. Lots of Winniw the Pooh stuff. :)

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

gone gone..

He called me last night. It was nice to hear his voice. Michael is gone from me until July. I've been sending him 15 second sound clips to his email address and picture mail from my phone. He's enjoyed it so much. The night before last, he got pictures of me and my boobies. He enjoyed those very much. Last night, I sent him a picture of my pink parts. He liked that too. I've been sending him stories everyday, too. I've been going through the blog, looking for our intimate moments that I've written about and sent those to him. He's been hard by the end of them every time. That puts a smile on my face. Apparently, he can't move from his seat for about fifteen minutes. I miss him so much. The only good thing about him being gone is the extra money that shows up on his paycheck. I get to use that money for bills. Yay. As much as I love taking up the entire bed, I miss being able to snuggle up and crawl on him in my sleep. He'll be back soon enough. Mid-July he should be back. I can't wait. Neither can he.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Work.. not so fun....

This is all reposted from another blog of mine. Certain things have been omitted.

I think I just may have a stalker on my hands. I filed an informal complaint against him at work and spoke to the CMEO (I can't remember what it stands for). I made a voluntary statement as well as using an email from Michael to help me out on any details I'd deleted from my backup memory banks. I decided to put this here since it's caused me plenty of emotional stress. I'm to the point where I'm paranoid at night when I go to bed. I make sure everything is locked, including both doors leading to the bedroom. Michael's swords are in the corner next the bed, in case I ever need them.
After returning to 1ST LT from my TAD to SPAWAR, he [Airman Snuffy*] began making inappropriate comments toward me. The first thing he did was give me an “assignment” to pick a fight with my husband, which I have no reason to do. He asked me a couple of days later how my “assignment” was going and I told him again that I have no reason to pick a fight with my spouse. I told him that he needed to refrain from making those types of comments. Throughout the next month, he was making inappropriate comments still and coming on strong to me. I told him again that he needed to stop making those comments. I did not want them, feeling they were inappropriate. I told my spouse about AN Snuffy and his comments, and he also felt they were inappropriate. My spouse suggested that I speak to my chain of command about it, mentioning that it’s disrespect to a Petty Officer and a married woman. I did not, feeling that I could handle it without much problem. While I was on convalescent leave from surgery, he woke me up on 19 February 2006 at approximately 11:17am. I was resting from my surgery and taking my pain medication. He started talking about how “hot” he thought I was and checking in on me. I had my spouse with me so there was no reason for his call. He also mentioned how much he missed me at work. No one else was calling to check on me during this time except for family and close friends. I finished the call and informed my spouse. The day after I returned to work, he came to the building for breakfast. He again began making comments I felt inappropriate, again mentioning how “hot” I was. He asked me how I was enjoying the single life and asked him what he meant. He was referring to the fact that my spouse is currently on deployment. I told him that I haven’t been single since meeting my husband and that I’m miserable without him here with me. I again told him he needed to refrain from those comments. He then attempted to give me a hug, which I did not return. He left the building to go to work (Port Ops) and sent me a text message. This was dated 3 March 2006 at 0757. This message verbatim is “Ur a hottie shake dat ass lol.” I did not reply to this message feeling, again, that it was inappropriate. I did not hear from him again until Saturday evening when he sent another text message stating, “I hope all is well.” This may have seemed harmless but I don’t feel he has any reason to text message anything to me unless it’s work related. This was the only reason we exchanged numbers in the first place. After he started making the inappropriate comments, I deleted his phone number from my cell phone. It wasn’t until I checked the number in the Recall List that I found it was AN Snuffy’s number. He does not know my home address and the Recall List is locked up in another office. By him contacting me by my cell phone while at home, I felt my personal space was being invaded. I no longer want him contacting me in any way, shape or form. My spouse and I would be much more at ease that way. [s]
Michael's email to me to add to the statement. Remember, Michael has a better memory than I do a lot of the time. The first time I saw him walk past you and try to like brag your hand or something. You tried to turn it into a high five and he grabbed your wrist. Everything I remember you telling me about him is giving you that “assignment” to pick a fight with me, the whole “Come on there is no way you could be as happy with your husband as you say you are.” When he asked who I was and saw that I was a red head saying “Oh so that’s why you love me” about himself. [He’s a redhead, too, kinda] The phone call while you were on con leave, where he told you “I miss the hell out of you,” and then everything else that was in the email you sent me… I’ll copy and paste that in here as well. “I meant to tell you that Snuffy was moved to work for Port Ops. I was extremely happy to hear this. Unfortunately, he showed up this morning“ (it was Friday morning) “…to hang out and eat breakfast. He tried to hug me, but I kept my distance; I merely patted him on the back. I gave Walters” (the female who was with him; work together at Port Ops) “a better hug. He started off with shit like, Wow you got hotter, etc. I was like, ‘Dude, you need to stop. Seriously.’ I’ve been trying to keep the conversation with him minimal. He’s asking me how I like the single life and I was like, what single life. I’m married. He said, you know, without your husband being here. I said, Dude, I’m married. When my husband is not here, I’m miserable. I love my husband dearly and would die for him.” *Snuffy to protect the “innocent”
Okay, latest update from this morning. I spoke to a preliminary rep (the afore mentioned Chief) and he interviewed me. I essentially restated my voluntary statement, as well as mentioned that I was tempted to turn the informal complaint to a formal complaint and have a restraining order put out on him. As it turns out, the military can do that with no problem. The CO bottom lines it, I think. That would make it so that he is not to contact me in any way, shape or form. No more phone calls, no more text messages. If he does either of those, I will have it documented. All I need to do to get that started is to contact the CMEO again and fill out the paperwork. I will see about that this afternoon.
It looks like Walt is going to have a talk with Chief tomorrow morning. He ran into St.. I mean Snuffy today, trying to get information out of him. What kind of information you ask? About my case. Apparently, NCIS over here has started talking to him. From what I gathered from Walt, Snuffy doesn't seem to think he's done anything wrong. It seems there may be another girl who was bothered by him as well. And, it happened right in front of Walt, so he can testify to that. The girl is on Peleliu; she was at 1st LT up until the ship pulled out. This kills me. He doesn't think he's done anything wrong. Whatever.
Monday was when I finally spoke to my chain of command about it. That's when I filled out a voluntary statement (the first thing I posted after the asterisk's). So far nothing yet. If I really wanted, I could change my informal complaint to a formal one and then I think he would go to Captain's Mast for it. Michael advised me to stop going straight home after work, so instead I'm heading out to my sister's for a couple of hours after work instead and THEN going home. She lives maybe ten minutes from me. She asked me this when we were on the phone during lunch, "Do I need to come to your work and stick my foot up somebody's ass?" I loved it. She can definitely put a smile on my face when I'm not able to talk to Michael. Love that girl to death. I will keep you all posted, as I said before. As soon as my Chief knows something, I'll know something and so on and so forth.
I was just sent home early. Here is why.I talked to Chief and told him what I wanted to do (change the informal complaint to a formal complaint and put out a restraining order to keep him from attempting to contact me). It was just after two this afternoon; it's now 3:30. I'm supposed to call LT in about fifteen minutes to see what's going on. I went on a food run for Chief and LT for "making them work" at the last minute. By the time I got back, LT was finished talking with the SECO (Security Officer), with whom he was talking to before I left for their food. I returned and was about to run to Bldg 72 for OS1 when Chief came in a said, "Log off [the computer] and go home." I said okay, and logged off and got my stuff together. He phoned Airman Snuffy and left a message on his phone to return to base and to 1st LT. Chief and LT wanted me out of there as soon as possible, since they were expecting Snuffy to arrive or call within the following ten minutes. My LT phoned me after he had just gotten out of the meeting with the CO. Airman Snuffy is not allowed to contact me in any way, shape or form and must stay 500 yards or feet (I honestly don't remember which) from my home, car, place of work. This is effective until 30 April or until the matter is resolved. He has received a copy from the LT and he has one for me which I will pick up Monday morning.
Sending him to the ship would work because all of the people that Michael and I know on the ship have been made aware of what's going on. Considering how much they like me, they will make his life a living hell. Remember, I made a lot of older brothers while working for Engineering for a year. I looked out for them while I was their paperbitch. I was just the cool chick in the office that took care of them. As I have heard, no one can hear you screaming down in the engineering spaces.
My chief was actually talking about sending him back to the ship. Now, I know that Michael wouldn't really do too much physically. He's more of a mindfuck kind of guy. However, I still have a lot of big brothers in Engineering Department on the ship. As well as friends in almost every other department including Deck, Operations, Supply, Air.. the list goes on. If he goes back to the ship, he doesn't have a prayer. The smoke deck can be really dark and lonely on some nights.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Who am I kidding?

I dropped him off at the airport this morning. If we were able to park the car in the lot, I would have been able to stay with him until about ten this morning. His flight was at 9am, so I dropped him off about five minutes to eight. I left my phone at home but he sent me a text message anyway. His flight had been delayed until 1130 (hence my staying with him until 10am comment). We had a late night last night from all the procrastinating that we'd been doing the last week or so. I think it was 2:30am by the time we got to bed. Getting to sleep was a completely different item. I didn't want to go to sleep. I didn't want to miss anything or any time with him. After changing positions several times, I finally found one and drifted off. The alarm went off too early. I wanted more time with him. I already have started a care package for him. We took out his contact boxes last night but forgot to pack them. Maybe I'll send some cookies, too. He still has some laundry here, so methinks I'll send that off with the contacts. That's it really.

Oh, and while we were playing last night, before making love before he left, he let me stick a finger in his asshole. He took it to the middle knuckle and didn't mind it much. Oh how I love him.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006


Okay, so Michael and I went to talk to my surgeon this morning about my b00bies. Turns out that it's epidermal inclusion cysts said b00bies. Surgery is definitely happening. My pre-op date is set for 2:45pm on 8 February and the surgery is set for the following day. Michael will do his best talking to his chain of command about him staying behind to take care of me. I won't have any family here to do that; my mommy-in-law would only be able to come down a couple times a month. My mother might be able to be here for that first weekend only. My sister is going to Japan with her ship for a month. That leaves Michael. I'll be given 21 days convalescent leave and light duty for 6-8 weeks. Sounds like fun, huh?

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

This is terrible

Money is terrible. I wish we didn't need it, but we do. I just checked the balance of our checking account, which we use for bills, food, etc. I realize now that we really shouldn't have bought all of that food. Something in the back of my head told me that I wasn't going to eat all of it!! It's all negative and I don't have anything that I can sell or pawn to make up the difference. I wrote a check yesterday (when the balance was positive for my new car expiration tags since they didn't accept a debit/credit card. The transaction for the food we purchased just went through. I was put in charge of the finances and I'm doing a shitty job of it because I can't keep track of all of it!! I hav an orthodontist appointment this evening for my retainer that I have to go to. I've put it off for nearly two months now. I only owe them one more payment of like $140 and that's it. I just hope they can take a post dated check since that's the best thing we'll be able to do. I'm glad I took care of my rent when I had the chance. If a checking account goes negative, the credit union takes money from the savings account to compensate. I would talk to my mother about it but she'll just chew me a new asshole about being smart with my money. I'd talk to my dad and step-mom, but they're paying for my brother's orthodontics. They have helped us out once before but I would hate to do it again. His mother is strapped as well and, even though she sees me as her own daughter, I can't ask her for that. Talking to his dad about it won't do anything either. My sister is underway for the week (I can only assume anyway; I didn't see her ship on the pier this morning) and I won't ask her [new] fiance either. We can't be in debt like this. We won't get a divorce about fighting over money and bills, like some do. Hell no, we're stronger than that. His next paycheck is a little bigger; he has his clothing allowance on there. I won't be able to check it for another few days though. Four more days until the W-2's are out. Then I'm immediately filing. My own clothing allowance shows up first paycheck in March. FUCK!!!!!