Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Terrible Dreams

I wrote this awhile ago on my Phelan page on Facebook.

I had a terrible dream the other night--- this is what became of it

by Phelan W. Moon on Tuesday, May 24, 2011 at 1:18pm

"I wasn't running my mouth again, I swear!"

He raised his hand to strike her again.  She shielded her face, but wasn't able to protet her back.  He knew she didn't like to wear clothing revealing her back, so it was his favorite place to hit her.  He brought his hand down only to stop just before making contact; quickly he moved and picked up a rolling pin, bringing it down on the middle of her back.  He could see her fat rolls jiggle and the sight delighted him.

Amanda screamed.  Tears stained her face through streaming eye make-up, her face looking like a morbid mime.

"What have I told you about running your mouth off?!"  screamed Nathan.

"But, I didn't!  I was having a conversation with my friends!"  These two statements took several pained breaths to get out; he'd beaten her pretty badly already and that last one was still in the single digits.

"A conversation about me," he replied.

He'd gotten her there.  She had been complaining to her friends, Mayra and Victoria, about the n ature of her marriage and where it had gone wrong.  She had no idea when the regular beatings started but they'd always been there it seemed.  What she found odd was that very few of them were alcohol induced; he just liked to beat the hell out of her.  Mai and Tori were trying to help her leave when Nathan arrived home early from work.

Now, it seemed he was going to kill her before she'd have the chance to walk out the door.

"I can't leave you out of my sight!" he screamed, as he continued beating her.  "Looks like I need to have you looked in on while I'm at work."

Nathan cornered his slightly overweight (okay, pudgy) wife into a corner and again raised his hand  to strike her.  He suddently felt a need that out-weighed his desire to follow through.  He walked to the bathroom, closed the door while keeping it cracked to keep an eye on her, and took a piss.

He enjoyed seeing her on the floor, broken and beaten, writhing in the pain that he'd just delivered to her.  'That should teach her,' he thought to himself.

He decided that Kory and Jesse would be good candidates to drop by during the day to make sure Amanda wasn't doing anything stupid to get her in trouble again.  Though, part of him would keep wishing that she would fuck up and then he could beat her again.  He made the decision to talk to the guys about visiting arrangements later.

Amanda noticed a smirk of satisfaction on his face and, when he wasn't looking, attempted to bolt for the door.  Her plan was to get out of the house and to the third house down:  Victoria.

Monday, February 20, 2012

"Ugh, it stinks in here!"

I overhead this in a public restroom at a local retail grocery store.  If you think it stinks that badly, then don't use it and wait until you get home.  If you really have to go and can't wait, then shut the fuck up and real with it.  You're only in there for maybe two minutes.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Bah, humbug

I despise Valentine's Day.  I don't like how it's celebrated.  I think that people shouldn't spend all of this money on that special person on just one day.  Why not take the entire year to celebrate that person?  Sure, it's nice to receive flowers or something for Valentine's Day, but, c'mon people!  Why give in to this?

Last year, retailers made something like $16.3 BILLION on Valentine's Day sales.  We're in a recession, too, so it's hard for me to wrap my head around this.  Are men spending this money (and studies show that men end up spending nearly twice as much as women do) to make up for being complete and total assholes the rest of the year?  Why are women spending an average of nearly $70?

Friday, January 13, 2012

Power Color -- I'm not sure



At Your Highest:

You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth.

At Your Lowest:

You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked.

In Love:

You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve.

How You're Attractive:

You are very affectionate and inspire trust.

Your Eternal Question:

"Am I Respected?"

Historical Figures Admired

A couple of these historical figures are past presidents.  One of my favorite presidents was Theodore Roosevelt (he hated being called "Teddy").  He was more than just a man's man, you know?  He was the first president to travel OUTSIDE of the United States to get something done.  He was a nature conservationalist.

I also liked Thomas Jefferson and Andrew Jackson.  I didn't realize how much I liked how these past presidents until a recent history class.  They've helped me realize how strongly I feel on certain subjects and I've found comfort with a political party.  That party will never be elected to the presidency, but I can still have my goals.  My current favorite is running in the Republican party; he's originally Libertarian.  I don't agree with a lot of what he's done since he switched, but he still has some Libertarian ideals.  We'll see what happens.

I love the literary heroes, too.  Dante, Shakespeare, Shaharazad, Angelou and so many others.  Their stories filled us with the recipes for good imagination.  What little girls dream of with knights in shining armor.  The little boys who want to be the badass.  All of these aspirations come from stories inspired by these writers.

I never thought that I would put politicians and writers in the same entry about admirable figures, but things tend to change as we age.

Things I'd like to change about myself

I'll try to at least list five things I'd like to change about myself or my life.

The first thing I'd like to change about my life is being a better saver and saving every penny I made.  If I was smart and I didn't constantly buy stupid shit (that I don't even HAVE anymore), I'd be better off.  We wouldn't be where we are financially.  We'd be better.

Myself?  I need to drop 10-15 pounds and get toned in my abdominal area.  I really wish my old RDC lived close-by; we used to go the gym together after we had our babies.  I miss going to the gym with her.  I always felt great and I was able to increase reps and weights in the two months that we were going.  I was feeling stronger and better about myself.

I'd like to read books that aren't just about the paranormal or romance books.  I tried one sci-fi book a few years ago and it was okay, but I haven't gone back to the genre.

I need to finish what I set out to do.  Today, for example, I started laundry; only two loads.  I have the basket sitting on the bed while I'm doing this blog as well as playing Forsaken World on my hubby's laptop and PC (my character is on his laptop and his character [or "toon" as they call them] is on his PC).

Definitely need to eat before doing any kind of shopping at Walmart, too.  I really need to work on that, too.

Thursday, January 05, 2012

Our wedding day

Though I was very happy to marry my best friend, the entire day was nothing short of a lot of angry tears.  It's a sore spot, to say the least.  The pictures say that we're happy (and we were) the there was a lot of animosity toward my mother from me, my husband, his mom, and grandmother (sadly, the only members of his family able to attend our wedding).  I still hold some of that anger toward her, especially now as my younger sister is planning her wedding.  My mother wasn't really involved with things once we got there (we were living in California but got married in Colorado).  I mean, she did a lot of the legwork for me, but I saw more of my mother-in-law in the bridal room than my own mother.  She was hanging out in the chapel chatting it up with people instead of being with her oldest daughter as she got ready for her wedding.  I'm willing to BET that she'll be there with my sister, whom she's always favored over me.My wedding seemed more like my mother's wedding.

I walked away eternally bound with my husband, in the presence of my close friends and family.   Our ceremony was wonderful and was probably the only that turned out exactly how I wanted.

Wednesday, January 04, 2012


This year, I'd like to accomplish:

1.  Getting to my goal weight of 145 pounds.
2.  Graduating from the local community college with two Associate's degrees.
3.  Add another 60 pages to my novel (I've only been working on it since 2004).
That's really it.  I figure, keep it small, keep it manageable, keep it ATTAINABLE.

Tuesday, January 03, 2012


If you had a GPS that gave you life directions, where do you think it would take you?

From this point in my life, I think my GPS would direct me to finish my degree (two Associate's) and find a better job.  If my GPS worked in 2003, it would have told me to not spend my money on stupid shit and have as much as possible put into my Thrift Savings Plan.  If I made those two decisions, I think I (we) would be much better off.

5 Qualities

I always have difficulty with posts like these, so here goes.
1.  I'm compassionate.
2.  I have conviction.
3.  I'm willing to give anyone a chance.
4.  I have passion.
5.  I'm a total sap.

Does that work?  =/  I hope so.  Like I said, I have trouble with posts like this.

Monday, January 02, 2012

Not resolutions, just goals

Resolutions is just another word for goals.  To me, goals are much more tangible and attainable than resolutions.  Many people make resolutions for the new year and rarely achieve them (be honest-- when was the last time you achieved and stuck with just one of your new year's resolutions?).  Making goals for yourself are more often than not easier to accomplish. 

Resolution:  I'm going to drop at least 50 pounds this year!
Goal:  I'm going to lost 50 pounds this year through diet and exercise.

Yeah, they don't always sound like that, but a LOT of resolutions have to do with weight loss.  Let's face it-- we're a fat country.  Unfortunately, not many of those who make this resolution will make it.  They'll have a strong start, but it will peter out and then they'll get discouraged when they don't see the weight indicator on the scale move down.  They'll see it move up instead.  What a lot of them don't realize is that muscle weighs MORE than fat.

Don't jump all over me for calling us a fat country.  I'm over-weight and I've been struggling with it for a long time.  I finally figured out that I need to drink less soda and more water.  I don't exercise as much as I should.

Something else that will help in achieving your goal for the new year is to pace yourself.  Making a chart on poster board works really well for this.  Working with the weight loss goal, figure out how much weight you can loss healthily.  This is normally about a pound a week.  Then, figure out what you're eating and drinking.  Keep a journal for about two weeks as this will give you a good idea about what you're putting into your body.  Also write in that journal whatever kind of physical activity you do (from walking to vacuuming to cleaning, etc.) and for how long.  Research online to find out how many calories one can burn from each activity and how long one has to do that activity to burn however many calories you want to burn.

Back to the chart.  Each day, find out which unhealthy thing you're eating or drinking and try to substitute it with something healthy.  If you don't like vegetables, here's one tidbit that may help you swallow them.  Your body burns more calories digesting the vegetable you just ate than there are calories in the vegetable.  Get lost?  Say that a raw carrot is 42 calories.  Your body will burn more than 42 calories to digest that rw carrot.

Making small changes to your diet and daily routine will help you lose the weight you want to lose.  Going by the one pound per week, you can easily lose 50 this year.  I think you'll find that within six months, you're feeling better.

Good luck with your goals this year!