All Apologies

This is largely taken from a journal I posted elsewhere. Comments are welcome at either location.

I do owe an apology, I think. In an attempt to open the minds of those who have theirs closed, I got heated and upset; mostly because they had no desire to open their minds and accept that not everything is bad or evil when concerning those not of their faith (Christianity, as a whole). I don't want to be saved and I don't need to heard the word. I was an Episcopalian for ten years. I know the word and know it well; I know it well enough to realize that it's not for me. If I've offended you, I do apologize, as it was not my intention. I don't like backing down from things now that I've grown a spine (it's taken years for this, mind you) and learned that I can voice my opinion. Had I done this several years ago, I would have cried the second someone told me off. Yet, I almost feel wrong apologizing. I voiced my opinion on things (which we're all entitled to) and when a blind ear and closed mind were turned, it just upset me more. Please, do not pray for me to find my way back to the herd, as I do not wish to return.

I am Pagan, and I'm proud to be one. I will not shove those beliefs down anyone's throat. If I'm asked what I believe, how to classify myself, I tell them, I'm Pagan, a Druidic Witch. I am very happy to be where I am. I'm sorry if you don't understand; there is nothing I can do to open your mind and be accepting of those different from you. I'm sorry you feel the need to pray for me. As I said before, please don't. There is no need to pray for me or family. There is no need to save me as I do not wish to be saved. Let me be, please.

Yes, I was rash about things in posts earlier this week. It was not my intention to come off the way I did. I feel as though I should apologize but at the same time, it feels odd to do it. I'm not ashamed of who and what I am. I proudly wear my pentacle necklace. I proudly display those things which symbolize my faith, as those Christians do by wearing their crosses, having their statues of the Virgin Mary (some Pagans feel this is another incarnation of the Goddess, but I digress), and Saints. This is all fine, there's nothing wrong with it. Just please... accept that we're different and leave it at that. Please refrain from telling us we're going to hell or that we're devil worshippers (we believe in neither). If you want to debate, do your research; chances are very good that the Pagans you're talking to were Christian at one point in time during their life, so they already know about Christianity. Before you debate, do some reading.

There was another journal post (aside from the below link) in which I loudly voiced my opinions. I believe it was Shanna's post-reply to the "Instead of Got Milk, Why Not Got Jesus?" post originally made on her page. The two women were mature in their replies and explanations to one another- I'll admit that I got carried away with it.

Here is the link which sparked this post.


http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read.php?post_id=553314&next=1#comments

No matter what anyone says, I'm not straying from where I am now. I've never been happier, in fact. I thought I was happy as an Episcopalian. I had a great time and I adored the people I knew. But I knew it wasn't the right place for me. The Universe had other intentions.

There were posts/comments that I made to one of the many "Golden Compass Not What It Seems" posts that may have been offensive to someone or another. I felt I had to atone (be the better person) and show that I'm not like one of those people who tries to tell people until she's blue in the face that Pagans aren't bad people because they don't go to church (we just have to be in nature and we're there), we don't pray (spell work and conversations with the Goddess), we aren't baptized, etc. I dunno.

I'm very strongly opinionated and have within the last few years, attained the testicular fortitude to voice those opinions.. sometimes without thinking about how it [negatively] affects others.

Below is the link to the "instead of 'got milk' how about 'got jesus'" journal that Shanna posted, and I replied to. There are nearly 200 replies though, so I don't know if you want to read all of that.

http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read.php?post_id=537704&next=1#comments

Here are some responses to the above journal.

"All minds should be open. At least yours is, and you shouldn't feel bad for expressing yourself. The evangelicals will say anything they can to make you doubt yourselves, and the true Christians will sit back and not say a word, as true Christians will do. I, myself, am atheistic or nontheistic, but still respect everyones' right to their beliefs, provided, they do as you say and not preach to me about things that I will never change my mind about."

"Tam, I always find your post well thought and well stated. I don't know what was said that you would owe an apology for, so I cannot say that you shouldn't apologize. I hope you realize that you only need to apologize for the wrong words you used, and not the feeling behind them. You should never apologize for your beliefs. Your beliefs are beautiful, peaceful and right for you.

I went back and read what you wrote and all I have to say now is: Wow, you think you need to apologize? You are a better man than I am, Gunga Din. I hope you got an apology in return!

BTW - Totally agree with you on the Golden Compass. I read the books and could not figure out where they "Killed God". I applaud you (and everyone else) who is out to fight this smear campaign. My sister was not going to let her boys see this because of this campaign. I was able to change her mind (they really wanted to see it). Hope you are able to open other minds!"

"I'm proud of you for the being the bigger person and apologizing, although, I too do not feel that it was necessary. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs...I, myself, no longer have a religion or belief. I was, at one time, baptised and accepted the "lord" as my savior, but I have strayed from those beliefs and found that having none suits my lifestyle better. I chose not to believe in anything because I do not want to be hypocritical. :) "

Comments

  1. I am an athiest. I was involved in a conversation with two co-workers (one Jewish, the other Christian). The Jewish co-worker told the Christian "You are not responsible for my soul." I loved it. That's how I feel. I am the only one responsible for my soul, and I cannot be responsible for another's. carolynn

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