First Love.. get the thoughts away, far away from me

I had another dream again. Another dream about the first love. We were together and happy, a family.

I don't know why though. It's really ... I can't even think of the right word; it's getting to me that much.

He was the same as I remember him, but his face is a little rounder. The feelings, the connection between us was still there and strong.

It upsets me that I still have these unconcious thoughts, these dreams. I have no control over them. I know there are ways to "control" what you dream, but it's so hard Whatever precautions there are, I'd forget to do them.

Akri, I love you

Comments

  1. AnonymousTuesday, August 07, 2007 3:04:00 AM

    I know you are going to be there waiting on the pier when I get home, ready to welcome me back with open arms. I love you too Simi!!!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Conversations

Image
This is all from a conversation I've had with someone I mentioned in this blog awhile ago.  It seems surreal to me that we can talk so freely about the stuff we couldn't talk about ten years ago.  Then again, I was letting the conversation happen, so what does that say about me?  Why am I taking these deep breaths?  Why is my heart beating faster? I'm going to blame the coffee and an empty stomach.  Or maybe the too tight jeans that I shouldn't have worn.  That makes much more sense and I like that explanation much better.  There's nothing deep seeded here.  Nothing.  Why is it that he's always the one to message me first?  I still don't know how to interpret that. I should have started copying/pasting much earlier in the conversation.  The first part sounds bad.  We were talking about a time about 11 years ago when I'd hopped a Greyhound to see him in college for a week. I'm wondering if he was patronizing me (or just being drunk) toward the e
Read more

At the check-out line

I posted this on a social networking site and the comments took the post in a direction I had not intended.  So, I'm "moving" the original post here, along with only my comments (edited). One thing that cashiers in any store would love for customers to have is etiquette at the check-out line.   Oftentimes, customers are on the phone having a conversation while the cashier is trying to do their job.  They can't do it accurately unless they're able to talk and conversate with you.  Please, put down the phone (tell the person on the other end you'll call them back) and respond to your cashier. Also, some cashiers are just naturally bubbly and in a good mood.  If you're having a bad day or are in a bad mood, the cashier can tell and they want to help you make your day a better one.  Not all cashiers are like this, but I am.  It actually hurts my feelings a bit when I ask, "Hi there!  How are you today?" and all I get is a grunt and a sour puss fac
Read more

My Anxiety - I made a HUGE step this weekend

Y'all should be damn proud of me.. damnit. Our friend, Jessica, swung by the house (ha! not a house) to pick up myself and Bella to go to her Mexican Uncle's place.  (They're pretty much adopted family and everyone in the family seems to refer to them by the moniker.)  We stopped off at Walmart so I could get new shoes for Bella (we spent ten minutes searching her tiny-ass room for her other Tinkerbell shoe to no avail) and some socks that fit.  From there, we were driving for about 20 minutes to get to her family's place. We get there and people are just showing up.  Some others had already shown up and things were going well.  Jessica's husband, Derek (Pat's best friend), was already there.  Both Jessica and Derek kept telling me that Bella is already considered family by proxy (did I use that right?) and that even if I can't see her, someone does and will keep an eye on her.  I was VERY leery about this, even though they're all technically family. Be
Read more