Today is a long one

I should have called my sister after having that dream.  I'm not really sure why I didn't.

I think of her often, how she and my nephew are doing.  She's made nearly a 180 since she had her son.  She started smoking long before I did (she's younger than me), was a heavy drinker, and experimented with drugs.  When she found out she was pregnant, she quit smoking cold turkey, didn't drink, and obviously no drugs.  She was in the Navy at that point and hadn't done any for some time.

I smoke, rarely drink, and did my own fair share of experimenting.  I smoked during my pregnancy, but not a lot; my daughter is perfectly healthy.  My sister now turns her nose up at smokers, though not as badly as my mother.  They both seem like hypocrites to me now.

Another thing that bothers me is that she's still viewed as the "golden child."  She had good grades all through school; I didn't.  She graduated high school early and joined the Navy; I graduated early but joined the Navy later.  She was in a solid relationship and engaged when she became pregnant; I was in a solid relationship and married when I became pregnant.

After leaving California and separating from her now ex-fiancé, she was GIVEN her apartment and practically GIVEN the job she has now.  I've had to work for everything I have.  The only thing I was really GIVEN was a place to live after we moved to Texas.  We're doing things on our own to find our own house.  I found this job through a temp agency; it wasn't just given to me because of who I know.

It seems like she's been handed everything to make her life, and that of her son, comfortable.  I haven't.  Yeah, my mom bought Patrick his truck and we need to pay her back, but it seems like if it were my sister, she wouldn't have to pay back anything.  I'm sure that the apartment she's living in is just fine, with hardly any problems.  We've had problems with our trailer since the day we moved in back in July.  Now that we have a good budget going, we're exploring the option of owning a home.

I keep hoping that one of these days, I can be seen as the "golden child" for making the right decisions and not taking any handouts.

Work is still there.  I've spent the last few days consolidating personnel files and creating new files for projects bid on.  I'm now supposed to e-file our taxes for New York for 2008 and 2009.  The website is not helpful, so I'm on hold.. and have been for over 20 minutes.  Hopefully someone will pick up.

I'm wondering if, when I'm hired here full-time, I'll get a cell phone, too.  They just hired a new accountant and they gave him one today.  Pretty much everyone here has a business cell phone.

I've been busting my ass on getting our budget worked out.  The bills are roughly the same every month (phone, internet, car insurance, trash) except for the electric bill.  We're nearly to the point where, by the next week (payday), we're about $100 in the positive.  Whenever I work out the budget for the next week, I mentally file away the amount that we're positive and start from zero.  In my head, this means that we'll have more available later.

We're trying to save up for a couple of things before the year is out.  My mom is coming out next month for Bella's 4th birthday; we're putting her up in a hotel so she doesn't have to deal with the smoke and our weird hours.  We're also hoping to get my bonus son out here for Yule.  He's considered an unaccompanied minor and always has to be done over the phone.  By the time he's old enough to travel alone, he might be already living with us.  We're also trying to figure out birthday and holiday gifts this year.  I have an idea for both kids, just not sure how we're going to do it.

Our trailer is crap.  There's no getting around it.  The floors are uneven, the front door needs to be sealed at the bottom (massive rain/thunder storm over the weekend and it was leaking rain water inside), and I found out on Saturday that the window above the toilet in our bathroom is cracked (from one end to the other).  There's just a square piece of duct tape holding it together.

We've been searching on www.zillow.com for affordable houses in our area.  We found the perfect house with three bedrooms, two bathrooms, living area, kitchen, dining room, and a fenced in backyard.  It's under $60K and monthly payments (including all taxes) is about five bucks more than what we're paying now.  The house is over 1,800 square feet; our trailer is roughly 1,200.  Paying the same per month for 600 more square feet?  I think so!  I go to the bank on Friday to deposit my paycheck and then I'm talking to a home loan officer to see what I can get pre-qualified for.  If it's not enough, we have a good back-up plan.

That's pretty much all I've got right now.  Hopefully this enough to let off my chest and I won't have to do another like this for awhile.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Conversations

Is It Really A Wonder?

At the check-out line