Dear Customer--

Hi, it's your cashier.  Can you do me a super huge favor?  Get off of your cell phone when you come through  my line.  I can't do my job properly if you're busy talking about the latest drama with your sister's best friend's cousin who... y'know?  Also, please don't give me bogus sale ad prices; I have ALL the ads right there at my register and I will call you on your bullshit.  Don't waste your breath.  Do you like having your items bagged randomly?  I don't like TO bag them randomly, but it's difficult to maintain some kind of order if you don't put your items on the belt the way you'd like it bagged.  All I'm going to do is move your items along the belt until I have some like/similar items together.  You may think me doing that wastes your time, but you may end up wasting time at home when you put your groceries away and then bitch about why the cashier didn't bag properly.

Stop giving into your child in the checkout line.  I don't care if they've been good or not.  When they ask you for something (candy, soda, gum, etc.) don't just let them have it to shut them up.  Do you realize what this is?  This is you rewarding negative behavior.  All this teaches them is if they annoy or ask mommy enough for something they want that mommy keeps saying no to, they'll eventually get it.  You don't positively reinforce negative behavior.  It's stupid and you're setting yourself up for failure as your child gets older.  When you do let them have their candy, make them wait for it by placing it on my conveyor belt with everything else; don't move it up to the front.  If you do that, I'm going to bury it so they don't get it until you're unpacking your bags when you get home.

Speaking of kids.. why do you let them run around a busy store?!  You may think I'm a terrible person for thinking this, but, every time I see a kid running past me, I want to "accidentally" stick my foot out so they trip, fall, and realize, "Oh shit, maybe I SHOULDN'T be running around in a grocery store."

I have this same "letter" in my head every single time I'm at work.  I wish I could give customers a piece of my mind.  When I'm at work, but as a customer, I'm just as rude back to you as you've been to me in my cashier line.  How does it feel?  Not too good, huh?  Be mindful.  Bitches.

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